By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Swenson
When police arrested infamous suspected cat killer Tyler Weinman last week, it ignited a furious online discussion of how he should be punished. And, wow, Miamians are capable of some violent fantasies when you fuck with Fluffy.
What follows are a few of the more creative punishment suggestions, ignoring those posted by obvious racists or really scary creeps. Keep in mind they are probably written by feline-adoring office receptionists with bowls of Hershey's Kisses on their desks and clipped photos from Cat Fancy taped to their cubicle walls:
• "In the old days, they would take criminals and stone them — that's what needs to be done to this sick individual!"
• "Once these people or person is caught, they should receive two lashes of a whip for every cat they killed."
• "Beat the hell out of them, take their picture, post them, and then call the cops, and if their parents come crying, give them a beating also."
• "He should be sprayed down with raw meat juices and then put in a cage with a mountain cougar along with our other large feline friends."
• "Tie him up, cover him in Fancy Feast, and let 300 hungry stray cats go at him."
• "Attach his penis to a burning building, give him a dull knife, and exit said burning building."
• "Why do I want to lock him in a basement with my brother Anthony?"
Somehow, that last one scares us the most.