60-Something Kilos, Er, Candles

Imagine you were one of Miami’s original cocaine cowboys, a man infamous for having transported — by air, sea, and street — $2 billion worth of Colombian powder into the United States. How would you choose to celebrate your birthday? Excessively, right? Surrounded by naked ladies, loaded weapons, and a huge sampling of your own product, right? Dead wrong. And that’s why you are not and never will be Mickey Munday.

If you had any brains at all, you’d keep your party action clothed, unarmed, and sober. You’d organize something modest, like Mickey Munday’s Birthday Bash at Tobacco Road this Saturday. You’d invite a few — or several hundred — adult friends and book a couple — or 20 — live bands. You’d start things at a decent hour, around 9 p.m., and you’d charge an affordable entry fee, say ten bucks. It’s the game’s greatest rule: Do not attract undue attention. Or, as Mr. Munday says, “Why do you want to advertise yourself? Keep it low-profile.” That’s how a true coke kingpin parties.
Sat., June 27, 9 p.m., 2009