Searching for Answers

The Florida Marlins are crapping the proverbial bed. We know this. But let’s recap anyway. The starting pitching has gone from having great young arms to calling up your high school economics teacher to spot-start for them. The defense is on a quest to break the all-time errors record. The offense boasts the most strikeouts in the NL and the league’s third-lowest batting average.

So what can be done about all the suck? GM Michael Hill says the team’s biggest concern is the starting pitching. Problem is, the Marlins really have only one trade chip in Dan Uggla, but because his numbers tend to slide after the All-Star break, his trade value isn’t all that appealing. He’s Paul Bunyan for the first half of the season, Don Knotts for the second half. (And this year, he seems to be skipping Paul Bunyan altogether.)

This is where you can expect owner Jeffery Loria to get involved. Look for the Fish to swing that 11th-hour mega-deal for the usual middling relief pitcher they’ll lose to free agency in 2010. Or they can just sign Pedro Martinez. At this point, why the hell not? Tonight the Marlins take on Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals.
Wed., June 10, 7:10 p.m., 2009