I used to think it imperative that the killers (and their accomplices) knew I was strong, fearless and indestructible. I thought they had to know I had no fear, I would not cower, I would not shake, I would not stop, I would not lie down, succumb, give up or fall and if I did any of the previous I would struggle, I would crawl, I would scratch myself out of any cave I fell into and fight again. Ultimately they had to know I would not die. The reality is, I died; again and again - as year, by year I had to learn how to be alive again and live with seemingly perpetual defeat.
It took me eight years to figure out that it makes no difference how strong and powerful I appear. It won’t make the killers (and their accomplices) care. It won’t make them human, no matter what I do -- one suspect in particular taught me that this past summer.
I know some people are distrustful of the police in this case. I know some came forward and felt their concerns were not taken seriously. I can’t fix that for anyone; if I could, I would. But, I can listen and I can follow through on every lead. I have no other cases or conflicts of interest. Justice is obscure, and in this case, manipulated by the suspects and those with something to hide, but truth is tangible. Don’t let them steal the truth too; goodness knows they have a large enough debt already.
If anyone out there has something they want to share in this case, I will be in Miami in June and happy to meet with you. Don’t let the horror of what you may know take up residence in your heart.