Punch a D-Lister

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Look at that face to the right there. Just look at it. Don't you wanna punch it?
And don't even try to harp on how that face was right about steroids and yadda, yadda, yadda. We, for some unfathomable reason, read most of the second book written by that face. It ruined two trips to the beach and made Riptide that much stupider. We are ready to punch.
And now, thanks to one of Jose Canseco's unending parade of sleazy and surreal publicity stunts, Riptide, along with the rest of South Florida, has a shot of making that face hurt.
On June 27, Canseco will be in a Fort Lauderdale boxing ring, trading punches with random people for three one-minute rounds.
Somehow this is a promotional event for Smoking Everywhere, a company that boasts it is in the final stages of introducing a "groundbreaking electronic cigarette" -- which makes sense only if your brain, or at least your wallet, is attached to the face to the upper right.
Signup is at Dadeland Mall from noon till 4 p.m. Sunday, May 3, and the cost is $50, which we believe is very reasonable. If the promoters are trying to attract everybody in South Florida who has fists for that face, they probably should have scheduled the signup for Dolphin Stadium, but what are you going to do.
And yes, unfortunately, boxing gloves are required.
Sun., May 3, 12-4 p.m., 2009