The weekend is a sacred fun zone and no bummers whatsoever will be accepted. Therefore, the following things are unconditionally outlawed: 1) Glowstick fists, 2) drunken emo rants about your ex, and 3) dudes in rhinestone dragon tees. Oh, and another note: The idea of carb-counting or counting of any kind from end-of-work Friday through Monday morning is maybe the biggest bring-down of all time. So please, ditch your diet on Sugar Free Fridays, because the titular thing about moderation is a total joke.
Beginning at 10 p.m., get with the glucose-loaded fun junkies who invade White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami) the last day of each office week. Drinks are four bucks, but only until midnight. And the four-dollar shot specials are like downtown hookers on sale all night long. And all the while, DJs MGA and Spinnzinn take charge of your bummer-free buzz and the overall, greater good of the party. Get your sugar high for free by RSVPing to firstname.lastname@example.org. For a full report on the sacred fun zone, check out whiteroommiami.com.