Missiles Sold Separately

Can a half-billion-dollar yacht float in this economy?

A A A Comments By Thomas Francis Thursday, Jan 15 2009

Mark Poutenis

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For sporting men who feel crowded on their 180-foot superyacht and whose claustrophobia still flares up on a 220-foot-plus megayacht, behold the gigayacht. At 656 feet long, the aptly named Everest will be the largest yacht in the world. That's longer than two football fields. And that's more than half the length of a cruise ship

Timm, with Fort Lauderdale-based 4yacht.com, is looking for a "special client" willing to pay the roughly $500 million price tag. That's an awfully big piece of inventory to move in what has become a turbulent world economy, but Timm isn't sweating. The way he sees it, luxury never goes out of style, and he's sticking to a Zen sales approach. "We put it out to the public," he says of the artist's renderings. "Then it creates interest, and there are buyers who are waiting."

After Timm lines up that buyer, his clients will begin building according to the buyer's exact specifications. "No spec," he says. "This is built to order. You pick out exactly what you want."

Gotcha — sorta like Pimp My Yacht.

Despite their similar dimensions, a cruise ship often packs more than 5,000 people onboard, conditions made possible only because the middle class will tolerate anything. By contrast, the Everest will have comfortable accommodations for no more than 36 people, who will be spread across the yacht's 17 apartments. The private penthouse suite at the ship's top deck is reserved for the ship's owner, of course.

"Ah, but what of those pesky pirates?" the potential buyer might ask. He will be relieved to learn that the Everest can be equipped with deck-launched torpedoes and ship-to-air missiles, features that will turn a pirate invasion into a fireworks extravaganza for the owner and his guests.

Timm recommends that his buyer also employ a security team of "divers who can be in the water morning and night." If a pirate ship still somehow conquers the Everest, well, it's a good thing you remembered to pack your helicopter and — if that's out of reach — your submarine.

Oh, about the missiles and torpedoes: Timm cautions that they could cause some hiccups with foreign navy vessels, "because at that point, we're talking about a warship, and you might have difficulty getting into the country."

Point taken.

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