Holiday Shopping for Big Shots

With holiday parties in full swing, Riptide is pondering gifts to send to some of our favorite Miamians. We begin with Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez. We hear the strapping ex-police director enjoys starting his day at the gym. Well, hard to argue with that, since our top local leader should be in tip-top shape to look after more than two million residents. But all of that time exercising takes away from work at county hall. So Riptide is sending Alvarez a Bowflex Power Rod home gym to place anywhere he likes on the 29th floor of the Stephen P. Clark Center.

For the Miami Dolphins' rambling linebacker Joey Porter, we're thinking a gun holster. The league leader in sacks recently admitted to ESPN he's packing heat. Well, we don't want Porter tucking his strap into his waistband and having the unfortunate luck of shooting himself à la Plaxico Burress of the New York Giants.

And finally, with reports that Related Group chairman Jorge Perez is considering buying the Miami Herald, Riptide thinks the ubiquitous luxury high-rise developer could use a lesson or two in how this print journalism thing works. So we searched Amazon.com and found him a couple of books — The Elements of Journalism: What Newspeople Should Know and the Public Should Expect, by Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel, as well as The Associated Press Stylebook. Of course we're buying the paperback versions. We're in a recession, and the Bowflex and holster tapped out our Christmas newsroom fund.