Toga Party

The White Party bash at Vizcaya might have been the year's wildest celebration. But the talk was deadly serious.

Elaborate, please.

"Well, let's just say this year alone I've pulled a 13-foot dildo, a can of Rave hair spray, and a vibrator — still vibrating — out of some pretty tight spaces."

To explain the comment, Godiva shakes his ass and then spanks it. A group of sailors in bedazzled hats, boas, and platform heels walks by, giggles, and takes some pictures of the lady.

"The worst was one I did just the other day," McDreamy continues. "Some guy came in with a large Christmas candle crammed up him."

Happy holidays, folks.

"He was desperate because he hadn't gone to the bathroom in three days.... We stretched him as far as we could, but it was lodged in, and we knew if we couldn't get it out, he'd probably die. So we put him out surgically and removed the candle through his stomach. When he woke up and saw stitches on his abdomen, he was pretty upset."

Why?

"He didn't want his wife to find out."

Zeus, you've got some competition.

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