Magic City Kitty Purrs About Oral Sex

Hello, Kitty:

Is there a good way to ask my boyfriend to go down on me? We've been together for six months, and he never ventures there. He doesn't kiss my thighs, barely touches the bottom half of my stomach — it's totally a mouth-kissing and penetration session whenever we have sex. I give him plenty of head, and I more than enjoy getting it, but whenever I ask him about it, he promises he'll do it next time, yet never does. And it's not that he's done it once and never again; he's never gone down on me. I'm a huge fan of oral, and I'm beginning to miss it to the point that it's putting a strain on our relationship. I think it's totally unfair for him to not give me what I'm asking for. But I don't know how to ask him without sounding like I'm giving him an ultimatum. But I am! Help!

Headlyss I.M.

Hey, Headlyss:

An ultimatum is most definitely the wrong way to go. It might buy you a lick or two, but you don't want him to give you a mercy muff-dive; you want him to enjoy it. Though you seem to think it's as common a practice as eating a Cinnabon at the mall, many men avoid cunnilingus for different reasons. In order to persuade him to take his tongue on a trip down south, you need to have a talk with him to find out why he's been avoiding the journey. He might say he's never done it before. Maybe he had a bad experience with some sour snatch. Or — be prepared — perhaps he's not interested in his precious tongue touching your particular pussy. A woman's body does some curious things and can, at times, emit some equally curious odors that would make a skunk run for cover. If he says your pussy perfume is the cause, you might want to modify your seafood and asparagus intake; start washing your twat with an unscented, low-pH soap; or take a trip to the gyno to see if something might have died up there. Or try introducing him to a lightly flavored lube that will make the experience more enjoyable for him. Pre-eat-out, take a sec to tug on your pubies to pull loose any stray hairs that might be aching to jump down his throat. And just as I'm sure you maintain the length of your toenails and hair on your head, trim that bramble bush between your legs. Listen to his questions and concerns, address them, and be firm when conveying that this is something that would truly please you.

If head just isn't in his sexual playbook, either you'll have to live with the fact that labial titillation is gone from your sexual menu or he'll have to learn how to suck it up. Literally. Meow.

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