Futbol Hooligans, Stand Up!

“Minnesota sucks.” Go ahead and Google that phrase, and you’ll get about 4,900 hits in less than a second. So you know it must be true. They have snow; we’ve got heat. They’re up north; we’re down south. They have the Minnesota Thunder; we’ve got the Miami FC Blues. Those are soccer teams, bucko, and they’re battling Friday night at Tropical Park Stadium.

Our standing is 10th out of 11 teams, and theirs is eighth. But even though they have more wins than we do, they also have more losses, which makes them bigger losers, even if they’re winning. The Blues have more draws, which means we’re good at getting even. They beat us back in May, 3 to 1. Friday night there will be blood. And if not, there will at least be fun, because Miami FC is cool like that. We have a better website than Minnesota, smokin’-hot cheerleaders, a web-based reality show to choose a new player. Then there’s our World Cup champion of a head coach and the greatest built-in soccer audience in the United States. Suck on that, Minnesota. Show some 305 pride and root for the homeboys.
Fri., Aug. 29, 7:30 p.m., 2008