Stone Temple Pilots

Hey, Scott Weiland: Look, I'm gonna be honest with you — I really don't care whether Slash took his stinky leather boot, planted it on your scrawny behind, and gave you the heave-ho from Velvet Revolver, or you went all "You can't fire me cuz I quit!" on 'em. You got your old band Stone Temple Pilots back together again, but I don't really care about that either. And I really don't care whether people love you guys or hate you guys, or about the old debate whether you're "iconic arena-rock tunesmiths" or "hack grunge retreads."

What I do care about is your physical well-being, my friend. Word is you're clean these days, and the touring has been going all right this summer, yet everyone is still placing bets on how soon it'll be before you fall off the wagon, get arrested, cancel shows, die, blah blah blah. But dude, I believe in you. You can make it! Hell, for every one rock and roller who has shot up and then been found the next day stiff and purple with a spike in his arm and a gallon of vomit in his esophagus, there are 10 more who have dug deep, conquered the habit, and gone on to lead relatively healthy, if artistically subpar, lives. So, y'know, it's cool to do the STP thing again, but don't relive the past too much, if you know what I'm sayin'. Remember — dope is for dopes!