The Sex Doll Diaries

Artist brings her silicone twin to town for one last romp.

For now it's virtually impossible to know whether people like Bashinsky represent isolated cases. "We didn't used to see it in the community. We are now seeing a community-acquired form of MRSA," acknowledges Steve Mason, nursing director at the Monroe County Health Department. Would he call the number of cases alarming? "I don't think so at this point," he says.

Vincent Conte, assistant director of epidemiology at the Miami-Dade County Health Department, agrees there is no evidence of a pandemic. "I got a call from someone in the Keys" — Bashinsky, probably — "who said that the Keys are just inundated with MRSA. We have no evidence for that," says Conte.

"You could check with the Monroe County Health Department," he adds. "But since it's not reportable, they probably don't know either."

Amber Hawk Swanson (right) with Amber Doll.
Amber Hawk Swanson (right) with Amber Doll.
See Natalie O'Neill's corresponding story, "To Not Catch a Thief," below.
Mike Gorman
See Natalie O'Neill's corresponding story, "To Not Catch a Thief," below.


The Cursed 48

John Timoney, Publicity-Shy?

By Tamara Lush

The wildly popular TV show The First 48 is wildly popular, in part, because of Miami. As fans of the show know, the Magic City is one of several metropolitan areas featured on the A&E crime docudrama. For the uninitiated, the show revolves around the two-day period after a body is found, operating on the premise that there is a steep fall-off in the odds of a successful investigation after those critical first 48 hours. Homicide detectives are the stars, and the series' most popular investigators work at the Miami Police Department. (One of them, Lt. Joe Shillaci, even had an hourlong spinoff special air on the cable network in 2006.)

Fueled by gallons of Cuban coffee, the MPD team tackles murders that involve Santería, gay love triangles, cocaine, gangs, and sometimes a combination of all four.

The detectives often interact with fans on the A&E website. They answer questions about their personal lives (Are you from Miami? and Are you single? are the most asked). Sgt. Armando Aguilar, for instance, recently gave detailed instructions to fans on how to make Cuban coffee. (Aguilar, who is the police union president, also has a large number of female fans, many of whom are thrilled when he speaks in Spanish).

But after seven seasons, the contract between A&E and MPD has expired — and the network and top brass are renegotiating. Word around the police department is that filming will be halted; apparently Chief John Timoney thinks the show doesn't portray the city in the best light.

It would be unfortunate if the cameras stop rolling here. For one thing, the rest of the cities are boring. (Phoenix? Please.) For another, the Miami detectives are portrayed as fundamentally caring, kind, and competent people. Isn't that better PR than another episode of Lexus-mooching?

Plus, fans around the globe will be sorely disappointed. One detective says he was greeted in a Brazil airport by an autograph-seeker. Apparently the same thing happens from time to time at local crime senes. The show's comment board is abuzz with the rumor of Miami's imminent demise. Consider fan Lisamarie's online take: "We want to see the two hottest detectives back in action again! You guys make our mouths water!!!! Mmmmm ... delicious.... LOL."

Perhaps she's referring to Dets. Fernando Bosch and Rolando Garcia, but who knows? None of these guys is a schlub.

In fact some of the devotees exude a Tiger Beat passion. Tinat302 is particularly smitten: "I would absolutely love to work with the Miami detectives ... especially Rolano Garcia, Mario De Los Santos, and Fernando Bosch!!! They are soooo hot!! I would even let them practice their 'pat-down' techniques on me!!"


To Not Catch a Thief

Aviation student gives flight to revenge on YouTube.

By Natalie O'Neill

In broad daylight a couple of months ago, a group of men lifted Alex Moscoso's shiny blue motorcycle from the parking lot at George T. Baker Aviation School and placed it in a van. Then the thieves calmly started the vehicle and drove away.

But Moscoso, a fit 20-year-old with a short goatee, isn't angry at the guys who stole it. He's pissed at the school's security guards, who he claims spend more time napping and socializing than patroling the grounds. "I was like, are you kidding me, man?" he says. "They literally do nothing."

After the theft, guards at the school were slow to get back to him about it. So he decided to conduct a little investigation of his own.

Camera in hand, Moscoso staked out a spot outside an afternoon classroom and caught two security guards on tape. The footage is less than scandalous, but — it could be argued — the guards are slacking off.

It looks like this: A male guard is sitting, slumped on a trash can, text-messaging someone. Next to him, a female guard with a long braid reaches for the phone to see what he's writing. She lets her hand linger on his arm a few seconds. They continue a chummy chat for the remainder of the three-minute video.

"It's what they were doing on the day my bike was stolen," Moscoso says. "It got me mad."

Once he got the "evidence" on tape, he posted it on, dubbing the clip "False Security." To date, it has gotten 16 hits, including two from Riptide.

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