Laps in Judgment

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• Kendall
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• Pornography

Check the most important things in your pants. First, your wallet: Do you have a couple of crisp Benjamins for bottle service and a few crumpled dollar bills for a little something else? Okay, good. Then consult your genitalia and ask if they’re into the thought of some tanned female booty meat grinding away on top of them (separated, of course, by her hot pink g-string and your predestroyed designer jeans with the bejeweled back pockets). Still with us? Wonderful. Now rummage through your pockets for any remaining scraps of dignity and throw them out, because it's time for Lap Dance Tuesdays at Privé.

This weekly event features the occasional porn star on hosting duties, and because this isn't some sad Kendall strip club, the girl is sure to be an AVN-nominated starlet, not some chick who did Bang Bus once to pay her rent. Bottle service patrons are also promised a free lap dance, ensuring that the Grey Goose prices won't be the only thing jacked up.
Tuesdays, 2008