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    Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled

    You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.

    By Matt Snyders

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    Babe 'n' Arms

    Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.

    By Nicholas Phillips

  • Dallas Observer

    The Fight for Texas

    Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.

    By Sam Merten

Miami Blues

Our pro soccer club joins the fray of crappy local sports teams.

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By Chris Joseph

Published on May 01, 2008 at 3:00am

Although they play in a lower-tier soccer league and draw fewer people than a city commission meeting, the Miami FC Blues are still very much a part of the South Florida sports scene — in that they suck. In three seasons, the Miami FC Blues had never scored a goal against the mighty Montreal Impact. Then, during the second match of this season, they finally did as team star Alex Afonso headed in a goal after just 15 minutes of play. In the end, though, everything went to shit.

Montreal scored the equalizer not long into the second half. Then Miami’s Shaun Frazier suffered a dislocated elbow after running into teammate Juan Pablo Galavis in a Keystone Cop-style collision. And with just six minutes left in regulation, goalkeeper Josh Saunders tried to clear the ball but somehow threw it right to Montreal’s Dwight Barnett, who subtly tapped the ball into the back of the net for the Impact’s go-ahead goal. Game, set, and match, Milosh. The Blues remain winless against Montreal and winless at home. However, Sunday at Tropical Park Stadium, they look to stop the madness as they face the unfortunately named Carolina Railhawks. Kickoff is at 6 p.m.
Sun., May 4, 6 p.m., 2008