Most Popular

Recent Articles

National Features >

  • Phoenix New Times

    Pen Pal

    The nation's oldest Death Row inmate probably won't ever be executed. But he sure loves to write letters.

    By Paul Rubin

  • Houston Press

    Crime Doesn't Pay Back

    In Texas, restitution for victims is nothing but a state-sanctioned sham.

    By Chris Vogel

  • Seattle Weekly

    Hot and Frothy

    If you thought Seattle couldn't fetishize coffee any more, you haven't been to a "cupping" yet.

    By Jonathan Kauffman

Paris Is Yearning

By Jamie Laughlin

Published on April 09, 2008 at 3:00am

Watching The Simple Life makes you irate. You know in your soul that you are a much better match to be Paris Hilton’s BFF than Nicole Richie. And now that the Nickster has traded her flask and sleeping aids for a stroller and a wedding band, Paris is a lone wolf. She needs someone at her side to notate what is and isn’t “hot.” She needs a friend to help cock-block the paparazzi. Damn it, she needs you. Flaunt whatcha got and let casting directors know you deserve to be on the new reality TV show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF during today’s auditions.

To qualify for a shot on the show (20 perspective platonic soulmates will be chosen from across the nation), you have to meet a minimal amount of specific criteria. Namely, you must be either (1) a “hot bitch” or (2) a “fabulously fierce gay man.” And you need to be 21 or older while still looking younger than 30. Finally, you’ve gotta sign up: e-mail ParisBFFMiami@gmail.com for a chance at an interview; they will be held for the next four days (starting today!) in various “hot” Fort Lauderdale and Miami locations. Check out the show’s website, www.parisbff.com.
Thu., April 10, 2008


Miami New Times Insiders

  • Local food, music and news blasts
  • Free Stuff
Backpage.com