Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Florida Marlins President David Samson recently revealed the team has an eight-figure salary cap — for marketing. The same team that apparently cannot afford to keep Josh Beckett, Miguel Cabrera, or Dontrelle Willis has enough to spend on a squad of dancing fat dudes and other crap to get you, the fan, to the ballpark ... crap such as the 2008 season slogan, “You Gotta Be Here,” which is the same exact motto as last season — when they drew a league-low 300 fans to one of their games. There’s also that postgame miniconcert featuring balding has-been Eighties-rocker-turned-reality-TV-star Bret Michaels. Forget about spending money on good players. Who needs good players, really? That’s just silly.

Tonight the Marlins face off against NL-East rival Atlanta Braves at Dolphin Stadium. Sure Braves fans are annoying with that incessant tomahawk chant and their mindless indifference. Sure they have Chipper Jones and Mark Teixeira. Hey, we Marlins fans have 40-year-old Luis Gonzalez. And the world’s greatest marketing department. First pitch is at 7:10. Oh, and no promotional giveaways tonight.
Tue., April 15, 7:10 p.m., 2008