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Ladies, have your friends always said you have the perfect look for a career serving wings at Hooters, erotic-dancing at a club, or holding briefcases for Howie Mandel, but deep down you know you're classier? You have actual skills to offer the world, like spelling words out loudly with your friends, performing a killer chant, and smiling nonstop for four hours at a time. Perhaps cheerleading is for you.

Luckily the Miami Dolphins cheer squad is looking for new members. That's right: Auditions aren't just lazy plot devices for tween-centric media in which an unusual girl somehow proves herself to the popular clique; they're also used to find breasts to slap sports team logos on. Preliminary auditions begin at 8:30 a.m. at Dolphin Stadium. Would-be cheertators should bring the following: appropriate dancewear, their own snacks and drinks, and of course it on. Visit www.miamidolphins.com and click on the Cheerleaders link for more information.
Sat., April 5, 8:30 a.m., 2008