By Terrence McCoy
By Allie Conti
By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
5:59 a.m.: "Silence, please!" shouts a producer. Enrique and Joe reach across the console and shake hands. Theme music starts and about four people including Joe begin dancing, spinning, and doing salsa moves. Joe humps the air. When the show goes on-air, cheers, a trumpet, cymbals, a cowbell, and maracas explode.
"We're back live again on La Kalle in Miami," Joe greets listeners in Spanish. "Thanks for all of the love you've given us for so many years."
6:15: A groggy five-person African-American a cappella choir sings a song in English about celebration. "Now in Spanish!" Joe prompts them. They look confused.
6:30: Rapper Pitbull arrives wearing a black sweatshirt that reads, "God's Gift." "We have Mr. DUI, Mr. Pitbull," Enrique jabs. The pair anoints him the show's godfather.
"That doesn't mean I have to buy gifts for birthdays or anything like that?" the rap star asks.
7:20: Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen calls to welcome them. Enrique proudly informs her they're planning to put a stripper pole in the studio. "Saludos a George Bush," Joe bids her farewell. "I'll give him some sausage in person."
7:53: Joe makes a fart noise while standing for an interview with Univision reporter Pamela Silva, who looks stellar in a babydoll dress and spiky silver heels. Enrique and Joe poke each other behind her back. Joe asks, "What are you doing this afternoon?"
8:20: Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez calls and one of the show's personalities, impersonating record promoter Elba Morales, asks if he is her "baby daddy." Alvarez changes topics and declares it Enrique and Joe Day. "And we proclaim that no one has to go to work today!" Joe responds.
8:30: During a break, the crew chows on empanadas, croquetas, Egg McMuffins, and Cuban coffee. DJ Africa, who spins dance music and reggaeton during interludes, strips his shirt and presses a nipple into Enrique's face.
8:36: Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina arrives in a guayabera. Cuellar grabs the mayor's left arm and looks at his watch. "Careful with that pickpocket," Enrique says. Robaina declares it Enrique and Joe Day in Hialeah too.
9:06: The pair plays a reel of past crank calls in which they ask elderly women: "Have you had sexual relations with Fidel Castro?" Some tell them it's not their business; others hang up.
9:15: Rodolfo Frometa, director of Comandos F-4, a Miami group plotting a military takeover of Cuba, enters the room and Joe announces, "I'm going to call National Security."
"It's the Cuban Rambo," Enrique adds.
"Deep down, they are very respectful," Frometa tells a bystander.
10:45: During a break, Enrique asks a producer: "How much time do we have?... I haven't had time to go to the bathroom."
10:50: Don Francisco of Sábado Gigante is the last bold-face name to call. They thank him for a tie he sent after their call to Castro.
10:58: Fourteen phone lines that have been ringing nonstop with calls from well-wishers are still flashing green. With the end in sight, a relieved Cristina makes the sign of the cross. None of the remaining callers will make it on air. A minute before the broadcast ends, Mikey Machete, a producer, leans over to a reporter and says, "You don't have to be crazy to work with these people, but it helps."