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  • City Pages

    Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled

    You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.

    By Matt Snyders

  • Riverfront Times

    Babe 'n' Arms

    Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.

    By Nicholas Phillips

  • Dallas Observer

    The Fight for Texas

    Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.

    By Sam Merten

Joe Torre's Revenge

Marlins eye another chance to embarrass legendary manager.

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By KYLE MUNZENRIEDER

Published on March 13, 2008 at 3:00am

“On the sixth day, God created Man, and on the seventh day, he made some of those men into New York Yankees so he could watch some good baseball as he rested.” This was the Gospel according to ex-Yankees manager Joe Torre, until he failed to fulfill the team's manifest destiny of winning yearly championships. The last time the Yanks played in a World Series matchup, they got shut out by the blasphemous Florida Marlins. Torre hasn't made it back to the big games. Hell, he hasn't even beaten the Marlins in any series since.

And the last time the Yankees played Florida, his third baseman was paid more than the entire Marlins roster combined, and they still lost the series 2-1. This continued failure was an abomination unto the Lord, and Torre was cast down to the city of fallen angels, where he's now the skipper for the Los Angeles Dodgers. In a bid for Torre's redemption, his new squad takes on the Fish today at 1:05 p.m. during a spring training game at Roger Dean Stadium.
Tue., March 18, 1:05 p.m., 2008