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Forget Art Basel, Winter Music Conference, and the South Beach Comedy Festival. The 15th annual Miami International Map Fair, known as the “number one map fair in the world,” runs today from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Historical Museum of Southern Florida. Why would you even bother hitchhiking to Hoot Owl, Oklahoma, for the number two map fair in the world? We’re number one!

The event boasts 56 international dealers, workshops, and lectures by the world's map experts, not to mention all the big-name celebrity collectors we can’t reveal for privacy purposes, but let's just say one of them rhymes with “Sbrad Spitt” and another sounds like “Itney Ears.” Big-ticket items this year include a placemat from a second-century Greek restaurant and a 17th-century map that supposedly leads to the buried treasure of One-Eyed Willie, a legendary pirate who pillaged the coast of Oregon. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-375-1492, or visit www.hmsf.org for more information, but don't ask for directions. That's just embarrassing.
Sun., Feb. 3, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., 2008