Stop This Streak

It would seem a simple task for the Miami Heat to get a winning streak going. Put the ball in the basket more times than the other teams do. Ding! Winning streak. But apparently it’s a tall order for this group. A roster filled with guys like Smush Parker – who, despite having no discernable basketball skills to speak of, seems pretty adept at altercations with parking valets -- won’t get it done.

Perhaps what the Heat needs is to play a team from Canada. Like the Toronto Raptors. If the Raptors play in Mounties boots (and why, after all, wouldn’t they?) the Heat has a chance. But the Raptors do feature All-Star stud Chris Bosh. Perhaps Shaq can talk his body double from those Icy Hot therapy pads commercials into joining the team. Or maybe Spurs forward Bruce Bowen, who hasn’t been with the Heat since 2001 yet is inexplicably shown prominently on the team’s official website, will finally show up. Or perhaps Dwyane Wade can get just a little help from his teammates tonight at 7:30 in the American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Tickets range from $10 to $350. Visit www.nba.com/heat (Look! Bruce Bowen!) for more info.
Mon., Feb. 4, 2008