Jam Anyone's Cell Phone

That turd talking while driving deserves it!

"Sometimes I want to grab the phones out of their hands and shove it up their asses," a manager said of the unrelenting flow of customers who offer little respect for public airspace. The manager, who asked that his name and the name of the restaurant not be used so as not to offend customers, says he has to deal with them as nicely as possible, despite what he sees as their rude behavior.

"I understand people need to use their phones," he said, "but when I get a call, I step outside. It's just the right thing to do."

Of course, when some of the customers that day weren't doing "the right thing," Jammer Man had to step in. For almost an hour, as he munched on a burrito, he took down one pestiferous talker after another.

"I'm not sure what the problem is," a man shouted into his phone on his third attempt. "We keep getting disconnec — Hello? Hello?"

If Jammer Man is the hero of this story and these blabbermouths are the bad guys, what does that make the FCC? In Jammer Man's melodramatic interior narrative, federal regulators, who offer comfort and protection to the world's blabbers, are the Men in Black, the sinister operators of black helicopters who swoop in in the name of some meaningless law.

But New Times, going to the FCC source, found more befuddlement than robotic evil. The man answering the call to the number listed on the FCC website, 888-CALL-FCC, said his name was Pedro. Questions about jammers should be addressed to the FCC's media bureau, he said. He transferred us to a woman who said, "We oversee and answer questions about television and radio. You need the wireless communications bureau."

That bureau passed New Times along to the consumer and government affairs bureau. A man calling himself Bob answered there and asked for the caller's name and phone number. He said he couldn't provide his full name, offering a code instead. When New Times asked about the use of the jammer, he said he would e-mail a "fact sheet, f-a-c-t, on jamming wireless devices." Then he transferred New Times to the director of media relations, whose voicemail said she would be out of the office for a few weeks.

It had occurred to Jammer Man that, during his righteous phone-jamming campaign, other people — the innocent, quiet talkers — might have been cut off too. Jammer Man's aim is true, but his path of destruction is wide. In the trenches where telecommunications renegades play, there comes a certain degree of collateral damage. Yes, innocent bystanders who were using discretion in their conversations can get cut off. Legitimate business deals might be quashed. The kid dialing feverishly to become the 10th caller to his favorite radio show might not get the passes to Beowulf in IMAX he'd so hoped for. Is this the price our society must pay?

Nothing is easy in the world of superheroes. Except cutting off a cell phone call.

The fight, Jammer Man insists, is more than childish prankery (even if it's not much more). Jammer Man works to bring people together — by tearing some phone conversations apart. Loud cell phone users disconnect themselves from the people in their immediate physical surroundings, the superhero says. They, in effect, put up an invisible bubble that tells the rest of us they would rather communicate with someone in a different geographic locale.

Jammer Man simply disconnects that disconnection.

In a crowded elevator, where cell phones rarely used to work, a person can hold his or her peers hostage with a single call. The rest of the passengers stand still, watching the floors tick by, waiting eagerly for the doors to open so they might taste sweet freedom.

This was the case in an elevator in a Fort Lauderdale office building recently. The salesman on the phone went on and on about how he doesn't make a dime before commission. "You can trust me," he yelled into his phone, ignoring subtle coughs, eye-rolls, and less subtle coughs. "I'm not going to dick you around. I wouldn't do that to someone."

But before he got an answer, the crowded elevator passengers got relief. Jammer Man slipped his hand into his pocket and tapped the tiny peacemaker. No one else could have guessed what had happened, but the rest of the group rode down in silence, a few with satisfied grins.

Another win for the good guys. Another victory for Jammer Man.

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28 comments
Brian Paone
Brian Paone

"It had occurred to Jammer Man that, during his righteous phone-jamming campaign, other people — the innocent, quiet talkers — might have been cut off too. Jammer Man's aim is true, but his path of destruction is wide. In the trenches where telecommunications renegades play, there comes a certain degree of collateral damage. Yes, innocent bystanders who were using discretion in their conversations can get cut off. Legitimate business deals might be quashed. The kid dialing feverishly to become the 10th caller to his favorite radio show might not get the passes to Beowulf in IMAX he'd so hoped for. AN INDIVIDUAL TRYING DESPERATELY TO CALL 911 FOR HIS WIFE SUFFERING A SUDDEN HEART ATTACK CAN ONLY HIT REDIAL AND WATCH IN HORROR AS HIS SPOUSE DIES. Is this the price our society must pay?" You forgot one possible scenario, Mr. Mooney. Figured I'd add it on for you in caps. Is THAT the price we have to pay, simply because some crybabies cannot stand people in public having a conversation? Did the recently added scenario ever occur to you, Mr. Mooney, as you tried in vain to glorify this garbage? I sincerely hope persuasive writing isn't what you list as your "day job", sir. Unless, of course, that job description also calls for making piss-poor attempts at being a strawman.

Jammer
Jammer

I guess you are in need of a cell phone jammer. I just got my one from http://www.jammerall.com/ ,it's gorgeous. Maybe you can go there and have a try. LOL....

Jammer
Jammer

I think a cell phone jammer is easy to use. just turn on the button and set the frequency. I just bought my one from an online jamming device store http://www.jammerall.com/ ,it's really funny and helpful.

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china gadgets

HAHA, very intereting story! i have readed it over.

Kris
Kris

have absolutely no problem at each open blankly at a patient on a cadre sound, and whne they look backmost and eventually have something, i consider them and have o compassionate i buoy’t aid you soil you are off the sound. so recover to open or typewriting on the machine or even closing the drive thru window and hvaing a convorsation with another coworker. I really had ace client (whom i act activity in a dr office/infirmary because she was act garment and had a hospital id label) enquire me reason she had to escape her sound. to which i replied it part of HIPPA privacy laws. and she really aforementioned to me what’s that? thats not part of the collection. again open blankly at the idiot i said well i can’t help you until you are finished.Another instance where someone (a frequent annoyance at the pharmacy) came through the drive thru on her cell phone and i just stared at her waiting, telling her i couldnt help her till she got off her phone. the pharmacy phone happened to annulus at the exact moment i said that to her and i picked it up because this moron was still on the phone and i felt the need to help the “kind and patient” customer on the phone. the girl at the drive thru on her cell phone jammer finished her phone convorsation so kept saying hello hello. i just put my finger up and whne i was finished looked at her and said now didnt u think that was rude? good i felt the same way. she has never return on her cell phone again

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Lin Jiu-se
Lin Jiu-se

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Dayama
Dayama

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dayama
dayama

yes cell phone jammer when switch on block surrounding users signals, but it can be used for secuirty purpose, can be used in hospitals, church,temple,meeting , conference room where peace and only peace is required..i know about pocket cell phone jammer,it look like a cigratte packet and can easily fix in your pocket.it jus to switch on and it will block cell phone signals that's why gizmo called cell phone jammer

Dayamahttp://www.cell-phone-jammers....

Ben Schneider
Ben Schneider

And what happens when someone needs to use their cell for an emergency call, especially of life and death ? Or some other important phone call, like the call that woman received from her dying husband on Everest ? What if your friend had jammed this call ?

South Shore Reject
South Shore Reject

I am a daily Tri-Rail commuter. I am going to purchase a jammer to thwart all the obnoxious jerks on their phones who seem to think that I and other commuters really need to hear about their bowel problems, how their girlfriend is cheating on them, about what the baby did today, how much they can swear, how loud and how long someone can talk (without stopping for breath) in a different language, about their golf game, their sales scheme, shopping trips or what he said she said and then OMG what she said then, etc. I am amazed over certain people who play with their phones calling everyone in their list to talk about stupid crap the entire train ride.

We don't need to hear it, people. Valid, respectfully quiet cell conversations are one thing. We all need to do it. No one is talking about jamming doctors or emergency workers here. Talking about bullcrap no one wants to hear as loud and as long as you can is another, and you deserve to be jammed. You have no respect for anyone else. Until you get some manners and discretion, prepare to be jammed!!!

Biffula
Biffula

Keep on jamming Jammer Man!

Sam
Sam

Now criminals can come into your house and rob you. Should you dial 911 while locked in your bathroom, never fear Jammer Man will be there to ensure that help doesn't arrive and you get raped and murdered. Not necessarily in that order either.

Tim
Tim

My main concern about the sale of these units actually pertains to the use of them to disable the cellular dial-out of security systems. Snip the siren and block the dialer and voila, the house is yours.

Joe
Joe

What charges get filed if he jams an on-call ER doc and someone dies?

Moomin Papa
Moomin Papa

Hooray for Jammer Man until he jams a docter's pager in a movie theatre, or absent mindedly jams an important phone call to enjoy his non-fat latte and John Grisham novel.

 
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