How Things Should Be

The final regular-season game in the Orange Bowl resembled the infamous Ned Beatty scene in Deliverance more than an actual football game. Today’s FedEx Orange Bowl promises to be better. And by better, we mean totally bad-ass. The Virginia Tech Hokies face off against the Kansas Jay Hawks. The shitty football monikers are offset by the sheer bad-assery of some of the names of the players: Dexton Fields, Victor “Macho” Harris, Tyrod Taylor. See? Bad-ass.

But there’s also this: The Jay Hawks number-two-ranked offense averages 44.3 points per game and features some lightning-fast players. They also have a head coach that can swallow a Christmas ham whole. The Hokies, meanwhile, have Beamerball, which sounds like something you’d get if you were struck in the crotch during an ultracompetitive game of dodge ball. I can assure you it’s not. It’s what you call college football’s number-two-ranked defense. Number two offense meets number two defense? It’s the perfect storm of bad-assery and mayhem. And it’s just what you want from a football game.
Thu., Jan. 3, 2008