We Gotta Regatta

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More About

• Columbus Day
• Christopher Columbus
• Biscayne National Park
• Elliott Key
• Sailing

There are three ways to commemorate the anniversary of Christopher Columbus’s 1492 voyage: (1) Quietly reflect on the resulting world-changing mass migration and the tragic effect it had on millions of indigenous peoples; (2) race your yacht in today’s Columbus Day Regatta, a genteel affair for our city’s many dedicated boaters; or (3) get drunk and half-naked at one of the world’s biggest buoyant parties, off Elliott Key in Biscayne Bay. Surely those young ladies shaking their tatas for beads do it to honor the first attempts at trade in the Americas!

Before you charter a party boat to join Miami’s floating Mardi Gras, visit www.nps.gov/bisc for safety tips. In past years deadly accidents have happened Saturday night, when inexperienced boaters try to navigate crowded waters after sunset. At Biscayne National Park, officials are urging seafaring partygoers to “remain parked after dark.” Get to the bay before 10:00 this morning to avoid major crowds. Since the celebration is on the water, landlubbers are up a creek without a paddle. The yacht club folks running the regatta have nothing to do with the raucous, raunchy party people shaking their privates on anchored vessels. This year those folks are making the separation unmistakable. For the first time, the race route won’t even cross through the park. Visit www.columbusdayregatta.net for official event details.
Sat., Oct. 6, 2007