Because It’s in a F***ing Cage, That’s Why

If you thought the only rule in cage fighting is “There are no rules,” sadly you are incorrect. Or so says Crawford Grimsley, promoter of Let the Rage Begin: A Mixed Martial Arts Battle of Apocalyptic Proportions. “There’s no eye-gouging,” says Grimsley, “no kicks to the groin, and no head-stomping” -- ya know, basic Beatitudes stuff. Tonight’s fight goes down at the newfangled Nova Shark Tank Arena, where fans of all ages are waiting with bated breath for the middleweight title fight between Emyer “The Shark” Bussade and TJ “The Beast” Cook. It should prove to be a poignant feat of athleticism, as well as the ultimate in high-stakes thrill-watching, as spectators sit ready to cheer when a fighter’s spine is first slammed into the metal-knit wall and is then snapped like a hollow twig at the merciless fingers of a giant.
In addition to the middleweight championship fight, three other pairs of brawlers will face off to punish one another with virile combinations of jujitsu, boxing, and wrestling maneuvers. The whole deal is a first for the MMA community, because Let the Rage Begin is an introductory event for CFC (Cage Fighting Championships), the sport’s newest warring faction that wants to spotlight Florida-trained athletes. Tickets start at $29 and only go up from there. Ass-kicking and sneering begin at 7:30. Visit www.ticketmaster.com.
Sat., Oct. 6, 7:30 p.m., 2007