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Ay, Papi Wondering what to do for Dad’s special day? We got you.
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National Features >
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
Sexual Healing
For Florida's sole remaining sex surrogate, love is a many splintered thing.
By Michael J. Mooney
City Pages
Your Friendly Neighborhood War Profiteer
It's not just giant companies cashing in on America's defense industry.
By Jeff Severns Guntzel
The Pitch
Supersizing Sonic
How a throwaway idea at the Barkley ad agency became the "Sonic Guys."
By Justin Kendall
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Mr. Woodcock
Now playing
By Robert Wilonsky
Published on September 13, 2007
Bad Santa gets worse every time he trots out the same mean routine. Does anyone at this late date recall a movie starring Billy Bob Thornton in which he doesn't yell at retarded kids and bark at their stupid parents? After coaching The Bad News Bears to ruin and flunking out of the half-witted School for Scoundrels, Thornton is forcing kids to take a lap while pelting them with basketballs in Mr. Woodcock. Among Mr. Woodcock's poor pupils is a chunky lad who grows into a self-help guru (Seann William Scott) who looks a lot like Stifler from American Pie, and returns home in best-selling triumph only to discover his mom (Susan Sarandon, poor gal) has shacked up with Woodcock. And in a single instant, the self-help guru is self-helpless in the same house as his childhood tormentor, with whom he wars till the final few scenes in which all's well that ends well — and if you think that's a spoiler, you've clearly never been to a movie. Amy Poehler ekes out a smirk or two as a boozy publicist trying to keep her paycheck in check, but even the best gags feel like leftovers, again. In other words, Woodcock is a strictly flaccid family affair. Bet you saw that coming too.
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