"Happy" Mother's Day, for $2.99

Erik Goldman runs a one-man porn operation out of his Miami Beach apartment

"Happy" Mother's Day, for $2.99

Filed under: Flotsam

One night, back in 1999, at Monty's on Miami Beach, Erik Goldman mused over the men buying cocktails for potential sheet-mates, and tallied up how much it costs for a guy to get laid. His calculation: $200, including dinner and drinks.

There had to be a cheaper way. He placed an ad in the newspaper, looking for models, and "the phone rang off the hook." Girls came to him. The 39-year-old Miami Beach resident says he's just a normal guy who does yoga, baby-sits, and donates to good causes — along with being a one-stop porn peddler who films, edits, posts, promotes, and sometimes appears in his own online streaming videos.

He posts free ads on Craigslist to wrangle young ladies eager to join the Bijani Milano Model Agency, a name Goldman invented to lend prestige to the venture. He pays models from $500 to $1500 to appear in the videos. Being the budget-conscious businessman he is, Goldman sells his "quick-fix" porn at 2 Dollar Place (www.2dollarplace.com), where the eager can find 400 videos with an extensive niche list — from the expected Big Boobs (22) to the inventive Braces (5) — all for $2.99.

"People have a voracious appetite for these videos," he says. "You don't have to give an e-mail address. You're anonymous. It's a quick, easy fix with no trail." Goldman, who also works as a technical writer, learns a lot about human behavior from his site. For instance, what better way to celebrate Mother's Day than an, um, release? Goldman's site got record traffic — about 350 sales — the day before this year's annual homage to dear mom. On an average day, he gets about 75 sales.

Creepy? A bit. Interesting? You bet.

"My theory is that all these guys knew they'd be surrounded by their families the next day," he says. "So they whacked off before." Janine Zeitlin


Bells, Blunts, and Bongs

Filed under: Culture

It felt like the hip-hop gods were smiling down on Miami last Saturday afternoon. A steady stream of fans approached Bayfront Park under a blazing sun for the local stop of the Rock the Bells tour. Repeated shouts of "Fuck the police" resounded off the glass monstrosities looming across the street, while an impromptu break dance circle took over a segment of the covered pavilion.

Security at the entrance was easygoing. "What do you have in your pockets?" a guard drawled to a sleepy-eyed concertgoer. "Um, keys ... a camera," he hesitantly responded before being waved through the gate. The scene on the lawn was a pot enthusiast's paradise. People pulled on blunts, joints, and one ingenious smoking device: a backpack bong with a long plastic tube snaking down the shoulder straps. It was passed around in a group of at least 10 revelers.

Opening act Jedi Mind Tricks worked the small but enthusiastic crowd into a frenzy for Rock the Bells founder Chang Weisberg's traveling hip-hop revolution, which aims to remind folks that rap music was once the "CNN of the streets."

Most onlookers were fixated on the main stage. Despite the entreaties of headlining acts like Immortal Technique — who thundered "Support your local hip-hop acts, motherfuckers" at the audience — the attendance for the local stage remained sadly sparse. A sea of upraised, waving arms revealed a melanin-deficient crowd, but the Technique didn't sweat it. "I'm proud of you white motherfuckers, and I'm happy you're not at some Republican convention or doing some Minuteman shit," he declared. "Thank you for supporting hip-hop." The audience cheered in response. — Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik


The Changing Tide

Rudy Crew as Michael Jordan? We Think Not

In explaining his reason for voting last week to give Miami-Dade Schools Superintendent Rudy Crew a $41,000 bonus ("Bad Apple," August 2), school board member Robert Ingram compared Crew to Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest professional basketball player in history. We beg to differ. Producing 26 F schools doesn't come close to winning six NBA championships. Crew is more like the Michael Jordan who tried to play professional baseball, only to fail miserably in the minor leagues. Ingram's analogy is inane — a lame justification for awarding Crew more taxpayer money for his putrid job performance and scandal-plagued administration. Francisco Alvarado

 
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