Not-So-Spooky Kid

Well, I’ve been through periods where I’ve done tons and tons of destructive things to myself. Drugs, alcohol and everything in between. And there have been periods where I’ve been completely depressed and then those periods where they become one and the same. Anyone who has any sense of intelligence knows that yes, drugs cause a lot of problems in life. A lot of people also run away from those problems and it becomes a cycle. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, its why.

I drink absinthe on a daily basis if I feel like it. Now I’m not doing it because I’m unhappy, it’s because I enjoy it. I found that my life becomes much more together if I enjoy what I’m doing. It doesn’t have as many ups and downs. I have a daily arc of up and down and you need that to be happy. I don’t ever want everything to be straight and narrow and normal. I don’t want everything to be chaotic all the time. If you are doing something because you are miserable then you are doomed. Fortunately I was able to get myself from feeling miserable. I just had to convince myself that this wasn’t the way I wanted things to be. In the record I explain everything that I was going through.

This last record, Eat Me, Drink Me?

Yeah … It’s a reincarnation of sorts. Of just bringing me back to who I started out being because I had drifted from it. This record is most like being close to me. People who don’t know me get a greater sense of my personality from this record … at least where I’m at in my life right now. I would just wake up and write a song. The record starts saying, “6:00 a.m. Christmas morning,” because that is when it was written. Music has to be the center of my life. I think before making this record last year I was listening to only a couple of records: Purple Rain, Diamond Dogs by Bowie … PJ Harvey … I was listening to Radiohead. These records all have a really dark, romantic idea of life. I was watching movies like Bonnie and Clyde, Harold and Maude, True Romance.

Was this a post-divorce thing?

No, because this record was written right in the thick of it. It wasn’t really a statement about it either. This record isn’t about my new relationship or my past relationship. It’s just about me and what I was going through. If it comes across as being more human … that says a lot about how inhuman I must consider myself.

Because you are not living for anyone except yourself?

Well, I also learned about surrender and sacrifice. When you look at the lyrics, it’s about the willingness to jump off a cliff with somebody. It’s rare to find somebody that you can share that feeling with. A lot of people are too afraid to have that sort of commitment. When you don’t believe in yourself you will fall off that cliff and die. People misinterpret sacrifice as, “What do I get out of it?” But that’s not a sacrifice. When you sacrifice you just give it. And that’s when you get what you want back. When I found somebody that I was willing to make that sacrifice for … I found all of this relationship to Christianity and vampire mythology, because those stories all have sacrifice in them.

Are you still a member of the Church of Satan?

Well, Anton LaVey has been dead for a while now. He mentored me on a philosophical level. I considered him a friend. I don’t feel like a spokesperson for them. The defining factor of it is individuality and not being afraid to believe something that a lot of people around you don’t … and not being ashamed of yourself for believing something different.

Have you had any paranormal experiences?

I think I generally have a very paranormal life. But as far as ghosts, nothing specific.You have to consider the value or downfall of experimenting with opening the doors of perception as well. Drinking absinthe and stuff like that … does that sort of thing exist in your mind, or in the real world?

Being objective. Do you drink absinthe every day?

Well, not every day. I didn’t drink it today….

Do you hallucinate when you drink it?

I wouldn’t say it’s that easy to define. I’ve been drinking it for quite some time. It’s the only alcohol that I drink, because I don’t really like the effects of other alcohol. I always stick to stuff that I feel that I have a mild sense of … the ability to predict the outcome of. I don’t like things that are completely out of your control.