Corbett's Sports Bar

Save the gimmicks and theme venues for beach-bound trendoids; Corbett's Sports Bar (12721 S Dixie Hwy, Pinecrest; 305-238-0823) is a little watering hole with a no-nonsense approach to drinking. Trophies, funny signs, and photos of football players are as kitschy as the décor gets, and drinks are always reasonably priced. (Six bucks for J & B, anyone?) Boozing sports enthusiasts can distract themselves with pool, darts, and foosball until the place closes at 5:00 a.m. Oh yeah, and Corbett's is one of the few local joints that serve Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (in a bottle, no less).

On a recent Friday night, a trio of men in their midtwenties relaxed in a wooden booth while they downed pitchers of Amber Bock. Chris, the tallest among them, sported a striped polo shirt and a perfectly combed crew cut a fitting look for someone getting his doctorate in math at the University of Miami. He repeatedly tilted his head, blowing smoke away from his companions in the careful way one would expect a clean-cut grad student to do.

On one side of the bar, middle-age dirty birds ogled every girl who walked out of the restroom. Those with a little less gall focused on the TV set (which plays strictly sports and infomercials) or munched on greasy but delicious food.

Hanging above the bar, a sign reads: "Anyone who is visibly intoxicated will not be served alcohol." The bartenders weren't looking hard enough, because one young guy slowly descended into a drunken, slurring oblivion but not before brazenly dishing dirt on mutual acquaintances.

The more the intoxicated gabber was able to connect everyone present to someone else he knew, the more it seemed that Corbett's was the central axis of South Miami-Dade, a place where people create false bonds via drinks and smack-talking. It's a sleazier version of Cheers, if you will, where everyone knows your name, and the names of a few people you have (or supposedly have) slept with. -- Alexandra Quiñones