Hater Blockers

Perez Hilton has the last laugh; trendoids love art and couture

"Apparently it was some kind of big controversy for them. Somebody from the alumni association contacted me afterwards and apologized. They were like, 'We want you to know that you are always welcome back at your school,' which was a nice e-mail to get," he says charitably. It seems that life in Hollywood has toughened the assumed Hilton's hide. "Whatever. I moved on. After that little party, that was the furthest thing from my brain," he asserts.

PerezHilton.com receives about 900,000 hits a day, and Hilton has great blog ambitions. "Right now I'm known by the tastemakers, as they call them. The cool people, the industry people, the media, celebrities, techies ... those are the people who are familiar with Perez Hilton right now. But I want that name to eventually be as well known as Paris Hilton," Perez says.

He dreams big, of having his own talk show and going mainstream. Now that he has hit the big digits, the haters are coming on thick and strong. There's an anti-Perez Website (www.pajiba.com/perez-hilton.htm), and the harshest comments on Perez's site are usually directed toward the webmaster himself. That doesn't bother him at all. "I love it! That means I'm doing something right! I'm not gonna lie like Paris [who said scathing online chatter from nonfans made her cry buckets of tears in the recent, hilarious TMZ.com interview]; I frickin' love it — bring it on! I'm like Star Jones in a lot of ways. I'm a polarizing figure. You either love me, or you love to hate me. That's fine by me, 'cause in a way, I'm not really Perez Hilton, so I don't care!"

Perez Hilton: "The trashtastic Cuban cousin of Paris and Nicky"
Perez Hilton: "The trashtastic Cuban cousin of Paris and Nicky"


Ground Control to MoMA

No one seemed to notice when Terence Riley, the Miami Art Museum's charismatic new director, recently referred to the place as MoMA. Riley let it slip as he introduced photographer-artist Shimon Attie during the July 20 opening for Attie's wide-ranging MAM installation. Looking up from her vodka-and-tonic, The Bitch had a fleeting daydream of New York's temple of modern art touching down on Flagler Street like a giant white spaceship.

Riley might be the next best thing. The 51-year-old, who landed here in January, brings years of experience as MoMA' s curator of design and architecture. His work overseeing the NYC museum's recent $860 million renovation made him the obvious choice to guide construction of MAM's planned $200 million, 125,000-square-foot building in Bicentennial Park. And, The Bitch is pleased to report, he knows how to party.

After the Attie opening, Riley threw a bash for members at his Design District home. Based on a Mies van der Rohe design, the elegant, compact house Riley built several years ago seems designed for sophisticated soirees. No Pottery Barn here. The youngish crowd snacked on pâté and bruschetta while checking out the stuffed-animal-upholstered love seat, marble-top Saarinen table, iridescent lap pool, and Raymond Jungles-designed garden. Relaxed and resuited in a black guayabera, Riley was the consummate host, insisting on showing The Bitch his special-edition black Nike high-tops accented with some kind of bright orange strap doodad. "It's not Mr. Riley. It's Terry," he said by way of loosening things up.

After a few more laps of Chardonnay, The Bitch wasn't calling anyone mister. In fact she was having a bit of trouble navigating the scene. A stumble on the way to the hors d'oeuvres table had her accidentally putting her dirty paws all over one of the low-slung couches. No one seemed to notice.

Blond Ubiquity

Even if the air conditioning was not pumping at the recent grand opening of the latest chic boutique to grace Collins Avenue in South Beach, the revelers packed inside Sabrina Monte-Carlo were certainly chill. As owner Sabrina Monteleone weaved her way around racks of Burberry and aqua ottomans in her gold beaded Jenny Packham dress (price tag: $3200), she welcomed guests with an I'm-hot-but-I'm-happy smile and made sure everyone had a glass of champagne. The bubbly was plentiful and was soon followed by much-needed ice water as the temperature inside reached Chicago heat-wave proportions. The Bitch and her pup companion were about to retreat to the colder clime of the nearby Urban Outfitters when the always fabulous and fashionably late Heatherette designer Richie Rich arrived with his entourage. "Hey, you!" Rich exclaimed as he showered The Bitch with air kisses. "Would I ever miss a party?" Rich asked as he pouted and posed in his navy patent-leather spiked-heel boots for photo after photo, almost upstaging the party hostess herself. "Here, get a picture of us!" he squealed as he cocked his head next to Sabrina's. The Bitch snapped a few shots of the fashionistas and then panted her way to the fresh air outside.

This Bush Has Crabs

News flash: President Bush has crabs. That's what several media outlets said, anyway, after W stopped at famed Joe's Stone Crab in South Beach this past Sunday evening, during his Miami barnstorming trip. Thing is, stone crabs are out of season — way out of season. So what gives?

Turns out the man who gets his advice from "a higher father" didn't get the word that Florida fishermen stopped pulling up stone crabs more than two months ago (the stone crab season runs from October 15 to May 15). In fact Sunday night was the last for Joe's until the stone crab season begins again in the fall. "Most customers understand it," said Joe's owner Stephen Sawitz, referring to locals' avoidance of the signature dish during the summer. Unwitting tourists and, apparently, unwitting presidents order away, however, happy to dine on defrosted crab as part of their authentic tropical experiences.

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