Most Popular
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Kill Gus Boulis's Killer?
Paul Brandreth didn't want to murder anybody. Or did he?
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City Hall Stinks
There's a war on Dinner Key, and Marc Sarnoff is a bomb-thrower.
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Mayor of the Nude Beach
So he's naked and in his seventies. He's still the coolest guy you'll ever meet.
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I Have HIV
But I'm not telling you, babe. Happy Valentine's Day!
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Vamos a Cuba!
Join us as we try to hitch a ride to the island before the gold rush strikes.
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City Hall Stinks (58)
There's a war on Dinner Key, and Marc Sarnoff is a bomb-thrower.
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Sarnoff Turns His Back on Blacks (20)
Coconut Grove's other half feels left out.
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Sarnoff Shmarnoff (14)
Commissioner Marc's claim to a famous bloodline just might be fiction.
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Jumping the Snapper (5)
Brosia boards the Mediterranean bandwagon, with mixed results.
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The Reporter and the Tranny (4)
He kissed her, um, him, and that was only the beginning.
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Kill Gus Boulis's Killer?
Paul Brandreth didn't want to murder anybody. Or did he?
-
City Hall Stinks
There's a war on Dinner Key, and Marc Sarnoff is a bomb-thrower.
-
Mayor of the Nude Beach
So he's naked and in his seventies. He's still the coolest guy you'll ever meet.
-
I Have HIV
But I'm not telling you, babe. Happy Valentine's Day!
-
Vamos a Cuba!
Join us as we try to hitch a ride to the island before the gold rush strikes.
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Spitzer, Hookers and the Miami Connection
05:28PM 03/10/08 -
The Hobbit Has Gone North (And Other Crap)
11:40AM 03/10/08 -
Over The Weekend - Bikes, Blue Men, Teen Rock Idols and A Film Festival
08:57AM 03/10/08 -
R.E.M. Disappoints at Langerado
08:49PM 03/10/08 -
Last Night: Ani DiFranco at Langerado
04:23PM 03/10/08 -
Blitzen Trapper at Langerado
03:05PM 03/10/08
What we are writing about
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Recent Articles By New Times Staff
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Book Fair Bonanza
Miami’s got the literary goods
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Beach Reads
Big names? Big Deal. An alternative take on the Book Fair.
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Thrilla in the Hood
Miami New Times recommends
National Features
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Houston Press
"It Was Like an Armageddon Movie"
For days after Hurricane Rita, a Texas prison was hell on earth.
By Chris Vogel -
SF Weekly
The Candidate
Our columnist knows Ralph Nader's running mate all too well.
By Matt Smith -
The Pitch
How Not To Be a Rap Star
First of all, lay off the Ecstasy.
By Nadia Pflaum -
Village Voice
Project Runaway
What becomes a gossip columnist most?
By Michael Musto
Let's face it. Fidel Castro is either dead or headed that way. So, you wacky exiles, let's head for la isla, filch el comandante's body, and bring it home.
Subject(s): Fidel Castro
Here are Miami New Times's suggestions for the cadaver:
1. Use him in a campaign ad for the strong-mayor initiative. The slogan: "What Fidel did for Cuba, Carlos Alvarez can do for Miami."
2. Lay him out, cover him in plastic, and rent him for $2000 per hour as a beach chair at the Delano.
3. Drop him at Elián's relatives' house and call it an even swap.
4. Shoot a movie, Weekend at Fidel's, in which two Miami geeks discover the old man's body in a beach house and then set out on a bender including a blow-up Paris Hilton doll.
5. Prop him in the concourse at Dolphin Stadium for a Marlins game and see if attendance finally tops 10,000.
