More Stink than Red Tide

There is no need to dig out your dusty snorkeling gear to see fighting marine life. Tonight wraps up the three-game series of the cross-state battle of who can be worse. Yep, our own suddenly-not-in-last-place Florida Marlins are playing host to the second-to-last-place-in-the-American-League Tampa Bay Devil Rays. (Sorry, Kansas City, but you suck the worst as a .279 team with only nineteen wins. Yikes!) So why should you go see two teams that generate less excitement than a dozen nubile teenage boys going to bat at a Babe Ruth All-Star game? Well, the stands are usually empty, so you can buy the cheapest ticket and then sneak down to the good seats; a dinner of hot dogs and beer goes better with the crack of a bat; and there will be hot girls in tiny tank tops. Tickets range from $6 to $90. The game begins at 7:05 at Dolphin Stadium. Call 1-877-MARLINS, or visit florida.marlins.mlb.com.
Wed., June 28