Dear Bill: I must confess. My girlfriends and I have had a bit of a crush on you since the early Nineties. We were just college coeds at the time (just the right age, huh?), but we were dazzled by your boyish charm, the twinkle in your eyes, and your sense of humor. Oh, sure, we agreed with your politics as well, but we also wanted a president who looked like a movie star and not a monkey. You had us at usually briefs. Even though we prefer boxers, we found your candor endearing. And like you, we have also experimented with marijuana a time or two, but we actually inhaled (its not that difficult). We are so excited you decided to visit us. Depending on what the meaning of the word is is, we are sure tonights soiree is going to be magical. We will meet you for cocktails from 5:00 to 7:00 at the Biltmore Hotel. (We appreciate the fact you are keeping this on the down-low and calling this a fundraiser for Sen. Bill Nelson, and we wont even mind paying $100 for a ticket as long as we can share a dirty martini and cigar together). And well visit contribute.nelsonforsenate.com/events/coralgables0611a.html.
Sun., June 11