Plain Meaning of the Line

Wine and other spirits intrigue while Iman slightly disappoints

Haitian Cultural Alliance president Mireille Chancy-Gonzalez informed The Bitch her organization collaborated with the Bass to present the exhibit. After all, Chancy-Gonzalez noted, May is Haitian Heritage Month. And it was no coincidence the preview soiree was held the day Haiti celebrates its independence. "What better way to celebrate Haitian Flag Day than with a cocktail party?" Chancy-Gonzalez remarked. "It also gives the Bass the opportunity to have different people from the community visit the museum."

She Is Legend

Artwork and alcohol at D'Vino prompted thoughts of descending a staircase
Midnite Communications
Artwork and alcohol at D'Vino prompted thoughts of descending a staircase
Iman didn't appreciate Captain Kirk mackin' on her
Lyssa Oberkreser
Iman didn't appreciate Captain Kirk mackin' on her

The Bitch didn't learn to find trouble on the Internet by herself; she's too lazy by half and not all that clever. However, some full moons ago, a keen-minded news researcher with a soft voice and a kind heart took the rowdy pup and many more young curs under her wing to learn 'em the ways of the wire. The Bitch still remembers the 1996 seminar taught by this mighty mouse jockey, Liz Donovan, in the lobby of the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, a forum about designing Web portals and Intranets attended by research luminaries Sammy Alzofon of the Palm Beach Post and John Martin of the St. Petersburg Times.

So The Bitch was saddened to learn that Donovan, who broke ground in another online pursuit — blogging — had posted her last for the Miami Herald. Donovan was Bob Woodward's and Carl Bernstein's dedicated researcher at the Washington Post during Watergate, back when critical documents were annoyingly kept on paper and ensconced in courthouses and basements. She moved to the Aqua Lady in May 1981. An unfailingly generous, technologically prescient character with a subtle sense of humor, Donovan was the newsroom bulwark when, as ancient scrolls indicate, the Herald was a great paper.

In 2000 Donovan launched a precocious bloglike site for house research-related data. "I was always wanting to show links, and it just seemed more efficient. Later I sort of resuscitated it as a blog," she says. "I wasn't the first blogger in Miami, but there wasn't much before me."

Her Herald blog ( began as a deep resource clearing-house for online-database and Miami-news addicts. She has also done research — which involves digging up addresses, phone numbers, and beaucoup background — for the daily newspaper and for authors including Carl Hiaasen, Guy Gugliotta, and Andrés Oppenheimer.

Donovan, who says she's "old enough to collect Social Security in a year," retired from the Herald in September 2004 but continued to work part-time for the newspaper from her home near Chattanooga. But then the paper ended her contract. "If I'm going to be divorced from the Herald, it has to be complete," she comments.

She'll continue her personal blog ( On the final Herald posting, she wrote, "Miami will stay in my blood for a long, long time."

Your Hair Is Beautiful

Celebrities, like dwarves, run rampant in our city, so it takes a major sighting to dislodge The Bitch from the dessert case at Fresh Market. But a recent dinner at the Setai with fashion icon/wife of The Lodger Iman persuaded the hound to forgo the cannoli and use the salad fork.

When the long-neck Somalian strode over to the poolside area where The Bitch was busily lapping white wine from a crystal bowl, conversation came to a screeching halt. But introductions were made and Iman joined in chitchat about the incredible rate of construction in Miami ("Who is going to live in all of those condos?") and cooed about how much she loves living in New York ("Everything you want is right outside your door."). Iman also dished about Blackberry-throwing Naomi Campbell's upcoming party in Dubai.

Just sitting next to Iman, The Bitch felt a transference of fabulousness but, sadly, not melanin. When asked about her onscreen dalliances with Captain Kirk, Iman purred, "Oh, I will go to my grave and all they will say is: 'She was in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.' And William Shatner is a bad kisser." And what about her true love? "David is doing really well. He's working on a film and putting together [the High Line] music festival in New York."

After a selection of vegetarian and seafood hors d'oeuvres and an animal-friendly dinner, Iman made a brief introduction to the new elements of her makeup line, during which time she used The Bitch's pale, furry forequarters as a sort of podium. But delight quickly turned to disdain when Iman revealed that her ten-year-old cosmetics company had recently been sold to Procter & Gamble: "Yes, I also married a sugar daddy!" she laughed as The Bitch choked on her fiddlehead ferns. A moon-and-stars logo doesn't make a company Satanic, but experimenting on bunnies, canines, and monkeys with chemicals and pesticides does.

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