By Terrence McCoy
By Allie Conti
By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
And his absence didn't deter about a hundred Adolfo admirers from showing up. Upon discovering platters of bruschetta and goblets of Pinot Grigio being passed freely, people and dogs stuck around to admire the clothes, which are really quite nice and, for those not on a canine allowance, special-occasion affordable: A long black mesh skirt with scarlet tulle lining and a blue-and-green grosgrain waistband was $291.
So The Bitch was happy, but the visiting Iberia employees who modeled the uniforms apparently were not. Cinthia Astollo, sporting the female airline wear (dark gray polyester with red-and-yellow piping) hissed loudly to her male counterpart Carlos Mirabal about the war paint sported by some Coral Gables grandes dames browsing ("Tanto maquillaje feo!") and even commented on the wraithlikeness of the pale hound.
When one guest-cum-shopper set a glass of white wine atop a narrow wooden ledge above some colorful, spangly smocks, store associate Paxti Cañada, already beside himself about the dangerous proximity of cranberry juice and minced tomato to the merchandise, lost it. "I will hold that for you," Cañada announced, grasping the stem of the wineglass. "No, actually, I will take it," the Bronson Pinchot-like man continued, spiriting away the offending liquid.
A few guests were startled by what appeared to be a member of the New York Police Department snapping their photos. "No, it's just an official NYPD shirt," explained Miami Heraldphotographer Gaston De Cardenas. Um, okay!
Luxury Lounge II
A longtime associate of The Bitch who sometimes pulls one of the dog's four legs, recently blurted, "You'll never guess where I went to a party at last night! The cocktail patio at Miami City Hall!"
No way! You're pulling one of my legs!
"No seriously," the amiga continued. "There was a big reception with lots of booze and women, and I was talking to Mayor Manny Diaz, but then [city manager] Joe Arriola came over and told Manny to shut the hell up!"
That anecdote had the bark of truth, so The Bitch investigated, first by circling the city hall building at 3500 Pan American Dr. This foot patrol of the archaic, fortress-like structure yielded little to the canine eye. So a call was placed to city director of communications Kelly Penton. Penton, who to her unceasing credit never shows what must be extreme exasperation with the ludicrousness of The Bitch's questions, patiently explained, "City hall does not have a öcocktail patio,' so to speak. The second floor has a large balcony that wraps around almost all of the building. City officials and departments use this area for appreciation ceremonies for volunteers or employees, photo shoots, and events for visiting dignitaries. It works out because we have such nice weather, the space can hold many people, and the city saves the cost that would normally be incurred when coordinating these events at other venues."
Penton had no insight as to whether the city manager rousted the mayor from chatting up guests. Arriola's reported utterance of the Ghostface Killah lyric, "If you don't get me some muthafuckin' cognac, I'll kill you," could be confirmed by no one.