Most Popular

Recent Articles

Recent Articles by Robert Wilonsky

National Features >

  • Houston Press

    The Passion of Victoria Osteen

    A flight attendant's smackdown with the wife of mega-preacher Joel Osteen inspires a whole new set of commandments.

    By Rich Connelly

  • City Pages

    Your Field Guide to the RNC

    Today Denver, tomorrow the Twin Cities.

    By Matt Snyders and Bradley Campbell

  • The Pitch

    Star Power

    A country musician rescues Waylon Jennings' tour bus from the scrap heap.

    By C.J. Janovy

  • Village Voice

    Serrano's Second Movement

    The provocateur who brought you "Piss Christ" pinches off a new concept.

    By Lynn Yaeger

Get Inside!

Continued from page 2

Published on May 18, 2006

Starring: Adam Sandler, Christopher Walken, and David Hasselhoff
Directed by: Frank Coraci (The Waterboy)
What it's about: Sandler obtains a magic universal remote control that can control the universe! Pausing, rewinding, and slow-motion-replaying the world around him is a lot of fun until the remote gets stuck in fast-forward.
Why you should see it: Whatever you might think of Sandler, a movie that brings Walken and Hasselhoff together cannot be all bad.
Why you should not: Seems like a good premise, but so did The Benchwarmers at one point.

Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (Fox)

Starring: Bill Murray, Breckin Meyer, and Jennifer Love Hewitt
Directed by: Tim Hill (Muppets from Space)
What it's about: America's favorite fat cat twenty years ago takes a trip to Jolly Old London and switches places with a rich, fat feline in this essential sequel to 2004's Garfield. For more information, read Mark Twain's The Prince and the Pauper.
Why you should see it: Old pro Bill Murray can get laughs reading obituaries.
Why you should not: He's Bill Murray, not He Who Is Risen.

Waist Deep (Focus)

Starring: Tyrese Gibson (Four Brothers), Meagan Good (Roll Bounce), and Larenz Tate (Crash)
Directed by: Vondie Curtis-Hall (Gridlock'd)
What it's about: An ex-convict (Gibson) is driven to desperation when his son is kidnapped and held for ransom by a vicious crime lord. He begins to rob banks to raise the ransom — but only banks where the thug has an account.
Why you should see it: It's rated R, and based on the preview, it looks like the two beautiful leads get sweaty.
Why you should not: Hall directed Glitter. Yep, that Glitter.

June 28

Strangers with Candy (THINKfilm)

Starring: Amy Sedaris, Matthew Broderick, and Philip Seymour Hoffman
Directed by: Paul Dinello
What it's about: A feature-film spinoff of the popular 1999-2000 Comedy Central series starring Sedaris as a 46-year-old ex-con high school student.
Why you should see it: If you don't think Stephen Colbert knows funny, you don't know funny.
Why you should not: It could feel like one long inside joke made for those who've seen the show.

June 30

The Devil Wears Prada (Fox)

Starring: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, and Adrien Grenier
Directed by: David Frankel (Entourage, Sex and the City)
What it's about: Big-screen adaptation of Lauren Weisberger's thinly disguised "fiction" book about working as assistant to Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour (Streep).
Why you should see it: Streep rarely chooses unredeemable projects.
Why you should not: Do we care how difficult it is to work for a fashion magazine?

Superman Returns (Warner Bros.)

Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, and Kevin Spacey
Directed by: Bryan Singer (X-Men, X-2)
What it's about: Set five years after Superman II, more or less, Superman returns from self-imposed exile to find Lois Lane with a child and Lex Luthor out of prison, with yet another plan for world domination.
Why you should see it: Singer made the X-Men movies into something accessible to mainstream audiences without sacrificing its comic-book roots; he made superheroes human.
Why you should not: Look, it can't be any worse than Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

July 3

Little Man (Sony)

Starring: Marlon and Shawn Wayans
Directed by: Keenen Ivory Wayans (Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2)
What it's about: A digitally remastered Shawn Wayans plays a weensy little criminal mistaken for a baby by a wannabe dad (Marlon).
Why you should see it: Consider it your biennial dose of Wayans charm.
Why you should not: Perhaps you recall White Chicks?

July 7

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man' s Chest (Buena Vista)

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Keira Knightley
Directed by: Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)
What it's about: Bill Nighy joins the fun as supernatural part-man/part-octopus villain Davey Jones, out to collect the soul of Capt. Jack Sparrow (Depp) just in time to ruin the marriage plans of Will (Bloom) and Elizabeth (Knightley).
Why you should see it: Depp's Jack Sparrow is one of the most entertaining characters in cinematic history.
Why you should not: Bloom is still a stiff. And Chow Yun-Fat is in Part 3, not this one.

A Scanner Darkly (Warner Independent)

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, and Woody Harrelson
Written and directed by: Richard Linklater, based on the novel by Philip K. Dick
What it's about: In the near future, a government drug-enforcement agent (Reeves) winds up being ordered to spy on himself. Like Linklater's Waking Life, the entire movie is done in rotoscoped animation, so it's difficult to tell whether or not it really counts that Winona Ryder does her first-ever nude scene.
Why you should see it: Previous Philip K. Dick-based movies: Blade Runner, Minority Report, Total Recall ...
Why you should not: also Paycheck, Screamers, and Impostor.

July 21

Clerks II (MGM)

« Previous Page   1   2   3   4   5   6   Next Page »

Miami New Times Insiders

  • Local food, music and news blasts
  • Free Stuff