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Evil, Done Doggy-Style

Snoop has been one of our most cherished hip-hop icons since his debut solo video, 1993's anthropomorphic "Who Am I (What's My Name)?" In the first phase of his career, he was Shaggy to Dr. Dre's Fred — maybe slightly mischievous and dopey but too silly to be taken seriously. Since that time, we've rewarded him with one of the most profitable and long-lasting careers in hip-hop. Last year's "Drop It Like It's Hot" was voted Video of the Year by this very paper, and Snoop has recently appeared in ad campaigns for Virgin Mobile and Chrysler.

CHRISTOPHER SMITH

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performs Saturday, January 14. Tickets are $40. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. For more information, visit www.jointherevolut ion.net, or call 954-727-0950.
Revolution, 200 W Broward Blvd, Fort Lauderdale.

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In a slightly different place or time, Snoop would be a pariah. He's an ex-gangbanger who still reps the Crips, a consummate champion of drug use, and a serial misogynist who brags about beating women in his songs. He has been accused (and subsequently acquitted) of murder and rape.

So how exactly does Snoop get away with it? It's called image manipulation. Here's a look at a couple of recent history's other bad boys and, based on the Snoop model, suggested ways they could have avoided their dismal fates.

Fidel Castro

Problem areas: Miami audiences need no introduction to Castro's atrocities. He's a murderous and oppressive demigod who simply refuses to go away.

Solution: As Snoop has shown us, there's nothing wrong with having a strong pimp hand. But Fidel fails to carry it off with the same panache as Snoop, who redefined the role with lavish, colorful clothing and playful music videos. For starters, we suggest Castro reign in those formless, four-hour speeches. After all, the only thing worse than being a terror is being a bore. As our own political campaigns have repeatedly taught us, anything that's really important can be imparted in easily digestible three-minute sound bites. Castro also might consider spicing up his public appearances with some video vixens. If nothing else, they'll take the focus away from that ugly mug.

Pol Pot

Problem areas: Cambodia's Khmer Rouge leader was one of the Twentieth Century's true monsters. Beginning in the early Seventies, his ragtag goup of bloody primitivists razed Cambodia, killing that nation's intellectuals in a campaign that would eventually claim millions of lives and return Cambodia to the Middle Ages.

Solution:Although Pot's anti-intellectualism may not be that big of an issue, at least not for American audiences, his regressive, anti-modernist stance was problematic. Da Pot (take note of nickname) should have thrown himself headfirst into film and television. Snoop was able to parlay his rap career into several movie appearances. Yeah, the movies were generally horrible (The Wash and Soul Plane anyone?), but his roles reinforced his lovable, innocuous image.

It is doubtful that the sexless and barbaric Pol Pot ever had any acting lessons. But as the success of King Kong proves, condescending American audiences love the image of the kind-hearted, perennially misunderstood jungle savage. It may be similar in spirit to cooning, but it'll pay off in the end. We promise.

 
 

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