The Hangman's Beautiful Daughters

In which a doe-eyed dog finally gets invited to a nice house

In Lancaster's capable, manicured hands, Barbara Davis's couture gowns will continue their rounds on the charity circuit. Lancaster plans to sport her pricey purchases at every charity fundraiser in town.

"The Davises founded the Carousel of Hope Ball [the Hollywood party that raises funds for diabetes research and treatment], which made millions of dollars for charities. And all these clothes, I can just assume, were created for her philanthropic work. In turn, I got started doing drag as a result of an AIDS charity in Dallas, Texas. And now I have the clothing in my possession that was born out of charity and now continues on, generating money for other charities. It's all kismet! We're all connected, baby!"

Elaine Lancaster is gonna steamroll over you, baby!
Tom Grizzle
Elaine Lancaster is gonna steamroll over you, baby!

Michael Tronn Channels ... Scott Stapp?

No disrespect to Zelda's beau, but The Bitch never believed Fitzgerald when he said there are no second acts in American life. So when word leaked out that chameleon-promoter-artist Michael Tronn was redefining himself as a rock star, she nary twitched a whisker.

By most accounts, this is Tronn's third act. Tronn first entered clubland consciousness when New York magazine featured the then eighteen-year-old on its cover as the proto-mid-Eighties NYC club kid. That other party monster, Michael Alig, was subjected to the dual indignity of a murder conviction and being upstaged by Seth Green as James St. James in a movie adaptation of Alig's life. Tronn, however, parlayed his scenester status into an impressive art career that found him channeling pop iconography at the side of Keith Haring. Those playfully subversive sensibilities are — yet are not — evident in Tronn's approach to forming what he deems Miami's first gay rock band.

"There are no successful gay groups that play the sort of rock that I'm about," Tronn tells The Bitch. "My voice really lends itself to the music of groups such as Creed, Audioslave, and Staind — which is also the music that I really like a lot and want to perform." The Bitch cannot think of a worse musical aspiration. Regular readers of this column will recall her trouncing of diminutive Creed singer, a.k.a. the blandest frontman in the world, Scott Stapp. Why not mimic Thom Yorke or Bryan Ferry? She gave Tronn a perplexed woof.

Perhaps, she hazarded, this is Tronn's way of breaching the gap between cock rock and gay culture (sorry, Big 105.9 listeners)? No. For Tronn the band juggernaut is the extension of a personal transformation. "I had a big heartbreak lately, and that was a catalyst for a lot of creative expression. I've written 50 or 60 songs in the past ten days," Tronn confides. Sample songs include "I Thought You Could Read My Mind," which asks, "Could you feel the planets align when we're together?"

This might sound like the ramblings of a Hallmark-wielding weirdo, but Tronn assures The Bitch he "is not a stalker or anything like that."

More Hotel Party Fabulousness

There's always a week — and this was it — at the beginning of the season when there's too much fun stuff, and the social whirl begins to interfere with The Bitch's desire to sleep for 23 hours each day.

On November 15 the peregrinating dog was starstruck to find herself hanging out at the reopening of OLA, which quietly closed this summer in the jinxed lot on 60th Street and Biscayne Boulevard. At the new place, the Savoy Hotel on Ocean Drive, she sipped martinis with the aforementioned designing genius Cortezar — a heck of a nice fellow — and National Hotel resident chanteuse Kimona. Cortezar even madly flattered The Bitch by asking if she was related to the striking flame-haired Kimona. Must be the Irish setter in her DNA.

Chef Douglas Rodriguez mingled little, being about the business of overseeing the serving of OLA's trademark tiny nibble-able things wrapped in melons, or something. The Bitch didn't stay for dinner, though she did learn from party host and sponsor Mark Stockdale of T-Mobile that he doesn't consider Miami Beach the fakest city in the world.

"But then again, I was in Los Angeles right before I came here," Stockdale — a bit of a wit for a Sidekick purveyor — commented.

Restaurants opening in boutique hotels is a trend for sure — OLA follows 510 Ocean at the Bentley, which also launched in November. So are boutique hotels offering a sort of ultra-chi-chi time share-type option?

The Holiday Inn remains an unsightly concrete bunker on the same tony strip of Collins Avenue as the Ritz Carlton, Delano, and the Setai, though it will be ripped down in 2006 to make way for the W South Beach Hotel and Residences.

Behind a freshly painted door in the HI's otherwise dingy twelfth-floor hallway, which boasts industrial carpet and a bumpy acoustic texture on the ceiling, is an airy office designed by Yabu Pushelberg, the firm that has crafted interiors for Tiffany & Co., Carolina Herrera, and the W New York in Times Square.

This office was created to offer visitors a preview of the sleek yet "whimsical" environs that are supposed to define the new development. The palette is dominated by stark white walls, lacquered white tables, and a white alligator-skin divan. But there are also some funky twists, like dashes of primary color and a massive black-and-white cow-skin rug slung over the whitewashed wood floors.

« Previous Page
Next Page »
My Voice Nation Help

"you know what! it's a Crack addict scam you keep all the money"


***RING'S OVER RING'S*** hi "well hello you must be looking for Allen v. Osborne" try 42873-112 or 2278 if not try 99102-012 "UHM" or **5.08-you know 2278 had that number hot! black ahhh. ***RING'S OVER RING'S OVER RING'S*** **5.08 lol! he wanted to bond out "you know State Racketeering-Fraud" and smoke Crack before his Federal parole violation kicked in *U.S. Marshal's straight to Atlanta*

Miami Concert Tickets