Horace Forbes isn't a fan of contemporary Jamaican music. In fact the silver-haired serenader is openly dismissive of dancehall artists like Beenie Man, Sizzla, and Buju Banton. "You know those mongrel dogs that go growl, growl, growl? That's how they sound to me. Because they're not refined. I put on classy shows for a mature audience, not that booga-booga type of nonsense," he quips.
Forbes has been performing Las Vegas-style lounge music and organizing concerts since the Sixties. His latest show will give fans of classic Caribbean music much to cheer about. Cavalcade of Legends features an all-star roster of musical and comedic talent. The main headliner is the Mighty Sparrow. Sparrow blends the dulcet tones of Fifties-era crooners with the ribald double entendres that give calypso music its irresistible spice. Charles Hyatt, one of Jamaica's most respected comedic talents, will have audience members howling with laughter. Fans of authentic ska music will be in awe when Derrick Morgan takes the stage. Expect to hear many of his hits, including "Forward March," "Blazing Fire," and "Tougher than Tough," the song credited with forming the rock-steady genre. The lineup of performers will also feature Calypso Rose, Pluto, and the event organizer himself, Horace Forbes. He's been singing swinging classics like "New York, New York," and "Papa Loves Mambo" since the Fifties. "They called me the Jamaican Bing Crosby," Forbes remembers. Enjoy sweet Caribbean music with a little ring-a-ding-ding tonight at 8:00 at the North Miami Beach Performing Arts Theater, 17011 NE 19th Ave., North Miami. Tickets cost $40. Call 786-439-3589. Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik
Don't Kick the Tires
Everybody loves the cars that go boom, but where are those damn flying cars you've been hearing about since we were toddlers? You might not find Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the 35th annual South Florida International Auto Show, but you will see more than 1000 of the newest models and accessories, exotic dream cars in "Million Dollar Alley," pristine antiques in "Memory Lane," and a shiny lot of drool-worthy choppers. Check out your next ride from 2:00 to 11:00 p.m. today, 11:00 a.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday, and 11:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Sunday at the Miami Beach Convention Center, 1901 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach. Admission is ten dollars, three bucks for children. Call 305-947-5950, or visit www.sfliautoshow.com. Lyssa Oberkreser
New lounge for South Beach chillin'
Just as we're growing tired of the same old South Beach haunts, Jonathan Cowan and Gerry Kelly are set to launch Shine at the Shelborne (1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach), with resident DJ Kelvin Andrews. Described as "the ultimate nightlife experience" by Kelly, Shine offers four unique environments for showing off your fabulousness. The grand lobby features the swanky Shine lounge with handcrafted rock walls; the Shine Ballroom provides throbbing beats courtesy of Steve Dash's custom sound system; the Terrace Café boasts a menu of international cuisine; and the poolside retreat with beds, hammocks, and torch lights is perfect for cocktails and intimate conversation. But don't even think about trying to get in wearing flip-flops and hillbilly gear: "Fashion rules here," says Kelly. "Look your best and look your sexiest." The grand opening with DJ Mark Farina is tonight at 10:00. Call 305-341-1455, or visit www.shinesouthbeach.com. Lyssa Obrekeser
Pull Up a Chair and Work It
Like the sensual goddess you are
There's a fine line between sexy and sensual. For most women, sexy most often is equated with being scantily clad and peering at romantic prospects with heavy-lidded come-hither eyes. But according to Australian instructor Annetta Luce, sexy means a lot more than just pouting lips and sliding down a stripper pole. Luce is a movement therapist and sexuality educator whose specialty is dance, sensual expression, and intimacy. For three days she'll take over the Polish American Club (1250 NW 22nd Ave., Miami) and teach wannabe seductresses to harness the tigress within. Tonight's course is called Awaken the Sensual Body, and ladies who participate will learn new and exciting ways to work the middle, and master the timeless art of shaking it without breaking it. Free your mind, and your ass will follow, beginning at 7:00. The workshop costs $45. Call 305-635-2240, or visit www.dancingdesire.com. Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik
Avoid crayon-scribbled walls and finger-paint-soaked carpets and allow your children to find artistic inspiration in Florida's fabulous foliage. At Vizcaya Museum and Gardens (3251 S. Miami Ave., Miami) children are invited to participate in a new family program the second Sunday of every month (except December). Today at 1:00 children can tap into their inner Klee by illustrating natural patterns they observe in the historic property's enchanting gardens. The activity is then moved to the main house, where materials like raffia and shells are at their little fingertips. Admission is $12 for adults, $5 for children under 12, and free for members. Call 305-250-9133, or visit www.vizcayamuseum.org. Christina Kent