By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Swenson
When The Bitch pointed out pretty gently to Payer that she'd rather dole out her biscuits to, say, the washroom attendant than the hotel's corporate coffers, Payer blamed Ocean Drive for not printing full-disclosure invitations and suggested that while The Bitch is probably too downmarket to get the RC anyway, the parsimonious dog might want to take a night off from her usual round of convenience store heists and glue huffing for a ten-dollar winetasting at the RC in Coconut Grove: "It's a STEAL and lots of fun if you're looking for something entertaining and a little more upscale after work."
The Bitch thinks she'll stick with her Schlitz Malt Liquor, but was reassured by an also-disgruntled professional journalist'ssimilar tale. "I had to wait one hour and forty-four minutes for my car," groused the normally patient pro, noting the hotel didn't use the opportunity to send around some deet products and martinis to the captive audience. "If they couldn't handle getting 400 cars to people in any kind of timely fashion, they had no business booking a party that size."
Whatever I Want to, Gosh!The Bitch promised permacrisp-Oxford-shirt-wearer Michael Capponi she wouldn't say too much about his housewarming party this past Saturday, which is hard because it was, like, the best party of all time. Efren Ramirez -- Pedrofrom Napoleon Dynamite -- was there, and was just as spacy and charming as his cake-baking student-council-president character.