By Michael E. Miller
By Allie Conti
By David Villano
By Jose D. Duran
By Michael E. Miller
By Allie Conti
By Kyle Swenson
By Luther Campbell
Why it'll be fabulous: The lead actor's name is Mungo, and he fights zombies.
Why it'll be dreadful: Conservatives may be disappointed that it isn't Berkeley, California, being destroyed.
Directed by: Walter Salles (The Motorcycle Diaries)
Written by: Rafael Yglesias (From Hell)
What it's about: American remake of Ringu director Hideo Nakata's other movie about a malevolent drowned girl-ghost with hair in her face and the power to manipulate water.
Why it'll be fabulous: The original is one of the scariest movies ever, and Salles is no slouch.
Why it'll be dreadful: Nakata's film came out three years ago, and since then, audiences may have overdosed on that whole long-black-hair-covering-the-face bit. Also both of the Hollywood Ring movies and The Eye cribbed liberally from the original already.
Directed by: Tim Story
What it's about: Four astronauts -- Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) and sister Sue (Alba), Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), and Ben Grimm (Chiklis) -- are bathed in gamma rays during an outer-space trip and are transformed, respectively, into the Human Torch, the Invisible Woman, the stretchy Mr. Fantastic, and the hideous Thing. The superhero team, a 44-year-old Marvel Comics institution, battles its armor-clad nemesis Doctor Doom (McMahon). Chaos ensues -- duh.
Why it'll be fabulous: Because Marvel has managed to do the superhero movie thing right with the Spider-Manand X-Menfranchises.
Why it'll be dreadful: Then again, The Punisher, Daredevil, Elektra, and Hulk were superawful, and the trailer looks fantastically horrid.
What it's about: This documentary about quadriplegic rugby players, who manhandle and mangle their opponents from souped-up wheelchairs that look like they were salvaged from a futuristic garbage dump, tells of Team U.S.A.'s struggle to capture the title at the 2004 Olympics.
Why it'll be fabulous: It isfabulous, so much so that when it debuted at the Sundance Film Festival in January, the members of Team U.S.A. were treated like movie-star royalty at every party they attended. And they attended a lotof them. (These guys love to party.)
Why it'll be dreadful: It won't be. Seriously. Don't worry.
Written and directed by:Ingmar Bergman
What it's about: A sequel to Bergman's 1973 drama Scene from a Marriage, 30 years on, in which Marianna (Ullmann) and Johan (Josephson) meet again, having had no contact since then.
Why it'll be fabulous: Apparently this guy Bergman has quite the reputation in cinematic circles.
Why it'll be dreadful: Bergman's description of the film is this: "The drama consists of ten dialogues that follow a particular pattern, and it's an attempt at analysis of a difficult situation." Yikes.
Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: John August
What it's about: Charlie Bucket (Highmore, Depp's Finding Neverlandcostar) finds one of the golden tickets that allows him to tour the candy factory of demented sweets-maker Willy Wonka (Depp). Also on the treacherous tour are the usual suspects, including Charlie's Grandpa Joe, Veruca Salt, Augustus Gloop, and the Oompa-Loompas.
Why it'll be fabulous: There's no music this time, and Burton promises to go deeper and darker than Mel Stuart did in his 1971 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.
Why it'll be dreadful: Because as much as we all love Johnny Depp, he ain't no Gene Wilder. And because, alas, "Pure Imagination" is a swell song that will be missed.
Written and directed by: Craig Brewer
What it's about: In the sweaty climes of Memphis, a pimp named Djay (Howard) aspires to hip-hop stardom like his idol Skinny Black (Ludacris). He enlists a scrawny white kid (Qualls) and a heavy-set pal from way back (Anthony Anderson) to record his autobiographical rhymes; meanwhile Djay has to deal with the three prostitutes living with him -- one he kicks out, one he uses to get the equipment he needs, and one he falls in love with. Hope turns to tragedy turns to triumph in the most overwrought, hackneyed hit to come out of Sundance this year.
Why it'll be fabulous: Terrence Howard, also starring in the ensemble drama Crash, is stunning -- worth the price of admission, especially if you can get the early-bird discount.
Why it'll be dreadful: Sold for $9.5 million at Sundance this year -- money that went to its producer, John Singleton, not its writer-director. And because it isdreadful, in a seriously-that-can't-be-happening kind of way.
What it's about: Two wild and crazy guys keep crashing wedding receptions in order to score with chicks, but when they hit up the wedding of a presidential candidate's daughter, one falls in love while the other meets a psycho, obsessive girl.
Why it'll be fabulous: Any movie that casts Christopher Walken as a presidential candidate must ipso facto be fabulous.