Letters from the Issue of May 19, 2005

Shark killers, whimpering liberals, and demanding drag queens

Mark the Shark needs more bad publicity: I just wanted to commend Tristram Korten on an outstanding article. It is unbelievable that Mr. Quartiano still has a charter fishing license. I hope the article will bring much-needed bad publicity to his "trade" and he will be shut down. He is killing protected species and lying to cover his rear.

I hope you follow the story and provide us with updates, especially if he is being prosecuted and/or losing his license.

Kathy Holt

Jonesboro, Illinois

Dead Meat: Dirtbag

Attention hotel concierges -- read this article: Great article. This guy is a dirtbag. In previous years, the media have sensationalized his self-promoting stunts. Good for New Times for calling him what he is! All the hotel managers on the Beach should read this article so they don't send him tourist business. That way he too can die a slow death.

Albert Castro


Dead Meat: Questionable Manhood

Obviously a major case of penis envy: Upon reading Tristram Korten's story about Mark the Shark and after seeing the gory photos, it was obvious to me what this man suffers terribly from: penis envy! I suspect that his lust to catch bigger and bigger prey is inversely proportionate to his confidence in his manhood. What else could explain such a grotesque display of Cro-Magnon machismo?

Elizabeth Bercaw

Atlanta, Georgia

Dead Meat: Scum

Idiots like Quartiano ruin it for all: Thank you very much for a truly superb article that eloquently exposed Mark "the Shark" Quartiano for the scum he is. We can only hope the feds go after him and make the charges stick. As an avid diver and occasional angler, I can attest to the depletion of certain fish, including sharks and other pelagic species, from our coastal waters.

While pollution, coastal development, and commercial fishing practices are all contributors to the demise of our oceans, idiots like Quartiano certainly share the blame and ruin it for those of us who respect the rules and exercise responsibility on the water.

Capt. Kent Bonde

Miami Shores

Dead Meat: Hello Federal Prison

Where are the feds when you need them? The article on Mark the Shark killer has created a dilemma. I'm not sure who the Asshole of the Month Award truly belongs to: Mark the Monster Scumbag, who has a small dick (see below) with huge balls; or the National Marine Fisheries Service's Monster Pussies with smaller dicks and no balls. "We are aware of potential violations this individual may have committed...." Huh? Sounds like these "experts" wouldn't know a thresher shark if it popped out of the toilet and bit their fat asses. Or are those pictures accompanying the article just papier-mâché sharks?

Why hasn't the Fisheries Service in Miami acted against Quartiano if he has killed an endangered species? What exactly do they act on if not this? Are they just another jerk-off -- I mean jerkwater -- entity that only performs the illusion of enforcing our laws?

Tristram Korten's excellent reporting sadly confirms that in America, the bigger asshole a person is the more successful he will be. Mark Quartiano has been embraced by Channel 7 (WSVN-TV), that epitome of reputable "investigative journalism," so how could he not escape the limelight of notoriety? "Journalists" like that would prostitute their own kids to sensationalize a story on child prostitution. That Channel 7 canceled its special on Quartiano only after a public outcry clearly shows it takes an asshole to know an asshole. Where are you, Rick Sanchez?

And we all know the truth about things referred to as "monster." Some "dock maidens" -- those comely, statuesque, billfold-filleting Queens of the Marinas -- tell quite another story about this monster. "Oh, Mark? Monster, my booty. It's the biggest cocktail weenie we've ever seen, a whole two and a quarter inches fully erect. Midget bait. And he's always asking for a discount. He needs to get a reel rod."

If Monster Mark were a true sportsman, he would be paddling around on a surfboard off the coast of Malibu with a paring knife looking for great whites and tiger sharks. Let's see those pictures, Monster Man.

That this is still a story, that it's still in the news, is an utter disgrace. If he is arrogantly killing endangered species, Monster Mark should be in a federal prison cooling his Monster Attitude with his fan club -- they love Monster Ass in the pen. After he serves his time, then we can throw what's left of him into Miami Seaquarium at feeding time. Now that would be poetic justice.

Ernesto Sandoval


Dead Meat: Hello Hypocrites

It's okay to kill cows and chickens, but not sharks? How should I start about Mark the Shark? Let's see, maybe education? Do you eat meat or chicken? The way docile creatures like cows and chickens are handled is inhumane; it's senseless slaughter. A cow gives birth just like your wife did, milks its baby the same way. It's a mammal with hair on its body. It eats grass. Get it yet? It's a nonviolent creature. Lions, tigers, alligators, sharks -- these are violent creatures. When was the last time a shark killed a human? Maybe last month?

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