BEST HAPPY HOUR

To-do list:

Monday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off at day care. 7:30: Hit the gym. 8:00: Shower and change into work clothes. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on I-95. 9:00: Big meeting. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss. 11:00: Woo clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Dentist appointment. 5:30: Pick up the kids. 6:30: Prep dinner. 7:30: Balance checkbook.

Tuesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop kids at day care. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower and change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on 836. 9:00: Cold-call clients. 10:00: Yell back at boss. 11:00: Board meeting. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with more lawyers. 4:00: Doctor appointment. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Wednesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower, change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic. 9:00: Paperwork. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss again. 11:00: Woo more clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Deposit money in the bank. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Prep dinner.

Thursday: 7:00 - 10:00 a.m.: The usual. 10:00: Threaten to quit. 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.: Same old same old. 3:00: Meet with bankers. 5:30: Kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Friday: 7:00 - 11:00 a.m.: Same-a same-a: 11:00: Negotiate raise. 4:00 p.m.: Refill Viagra script. 5:00: JohnMartin's happy hour.

Saturday: Recover from hangover.

Sunday: Recover from hangover.