Thou Art a Villain

Sergeant Rocha claimed that he has special abilities, and offered to read The Bitch's paw. When she skeptically declined, he revealed the following: "You like it when things smell good."

"Um, who doesn't?" asked The Bitch.

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More About

• Jose Rocha
• Ricky Williams
• Dan Le Batard
• Miami Dolphins
• Visual Arts

"You have an especially acute sense of scent," continued Rocha. "And you like the color orange. And vanilla."

All true, so the astonished Bitch asked if Rocha had insight about actual important stuff.

"No way," said the sergeant, who by this time also had rescued a kitten from a tree and changed a few flat tires. "I'm 28 years old and I've been married and divorced three times, so I don't have much vision about romance."