The Dead Only Quickly Decay

The proposed residential development was conjured by Coral Gables-based Land Star South Dade Holdings LLC, along with South Dade builders Manuel Mato, Daniel Lopez, Michael Latterner, and Wayne Rosen. The consortium is offering the city $1000 per unit the Homestead City Council approves for development in exchange for building on the wetlands. Later this month, the city council is expected to vote on the proposed deal, which must also be approved by the Miami-Dade County Commission.

But approval would create a quandary for the Homestead-Miami Speedway, asserts Curtis Gray, the racetrack's president. Gray is employed by Daytona Beach-based International Speedway Corp., the company hired by the city to operate and stage motorsports events at the Homestead track, including the season finale of the NASCAR Nextel Cup in November. "A residential development is completely incompatible with what we are doing here," Gray insists. "When you build homes that close, the speedway will become a nuisance to residents. This deal just doesn't make sense."

The builders' lobbyist, former Homestead mayor and erstwhile Miami-Dade County Manager Steve Shiver, downplayed Gray's concerns. Shiver asserts: "The builders have also promised to notify potential buyers that the houses are being built only a few hundred feet away from the speedway."

This two-faced mural gives drivers a benign over-the-flyway vision
Jonathan Postal
This two-faced mural gives drivers a benign over-the-flyway vision

The Junk Is a Sickness

Karen Fierro is on a mission to stamp out junk mail, at least from the 900-unit North Miami Beach high-rise condominium complex where she resides. "This morning I went down and the garbage bin was filled to the top completely, and some of it was actually falling off to the floor," Fierro testifies. The overflow happens several times a week when Fierro and her neighbors transport bundles of direct mail flyers directly to the trash can.

Fierro took a nonpaper-using course of action. First she called two of the culprits, The Flyer and the Miami Herald, and asked to have her name stricken from their direct-mailing lists.

Direct marketers can be as difficult to pin down as al Qaeda cells. But Fierro made a discovery by calling the U.S. Postal Service, whose employees tipped her to the Detached Address Label (DAL). A DAL, which is about the size of a postcard, must accompany all pieces of bound matter that mail carriers cram into our boxes. The name of the junk mailer should appear on the DAL. Search and destroy.

Conspicuous Consumption Is So Passé

Like a shark, a veteran club promoter and aspiring real estate magnate must keep moving to survive. Such is the case for ubiquitous entrepreneur Michael Capponi. Capponi normally uses a weekly e-mail newsletter to keep remoras and other hangers-on informed of what's going on with his parties at B.E.D. and elsewhere, but along with the call for table reservations, he recently included the following addendum to his normal bulletin:

"I'm moving to a new house and would like to lease my apartment at the Green Diamond ... It is a luxurious three bedroom, three bath, SE corner, ocean front apartment with unobstructed bay and city views, completely upgraded with mahogany paneling and marble floors throughout including balconies, crown moldings everywhere including all doors. The unit has a private bar, Jacuzzi bath, washer and dryer and most high end amenities. ... A must see, definitely one of the finest units in the Diamond buildings, $4500 per month."

Did the recipients of the e-mail -- mostly people who have highly refined free-drink detectors owing to low actual cash flow -- respond in droves ready to pay monthly rent roughly equivalent to the price of a 2001 Kia Sephia? Capponi wouldn't tell The Bitch.

Real-Life Rock Tales

This past May at I/O, Fort Lauderdale garage-rock favorites the Heatseekers took first place at Little Steven's Underground Garage Battle of the Bands, a rock and roll competition sponsored by Bruce Springsteen's guitar-strumming sidekick, radio host, and The Sopranos star Little Steven Van Zandt. The victory earned them free gear (a guitar, a bass, and an amp), recording time at Trails of Smoke Studios in Hollywood, and a chance to vie for national supremacy against nine other hopefuls at New York City's Irving Plaza on July 23.

Unfortunately the prize didn't include four free plane tickets to the Big Apple. So on July 16 guitarists Owen McLean and Chris Maggio, drummer Chuck Loose, and bassist and New Times contributor Terra Sullivan packed their gear into a Honda Odyssey minivan and set out on a road trip. Far from a vacation, the industrious foursome worked hard for their gas money, cranking out shows in Jacksonville, Atlanta, Chapel Hill, and Philadelphia. After arriving in Manhattan on July 19, they knocked out several performances, including one at Saint and Sinners in Long Island.

Finally the Heatseekers battled an amped-up field at the climactic Irving Plaza showdown. "All the bands were really good," says Sullivan. "Nobody expected to win. They were just happy to be there." In the end, Chicago's Blackouts and Providence's Muck and the Mires prevailed.

The Heatseekers drove back home, though not before squeezing in a set at Trash in Brooklyn. They also got "tons of exposure," Sullivan cheerily notes. The MTV2 special on the competition will air at 9:00 p.m. Saturday and will include brief sets by the two winners as well as by Nancy Sinatra, the Strokes, and the remaining live members of the New York Dolls.

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