By Michael E. Miller
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Munzenrieder
By Sabrina Rodriguez
By Michael E. Miller
By Carlos Suarez De Jesus
By Luther Campbell
By Kyle Munzenrieder
Hell's flames reignite passion: Kudos on the annual Best of Miami issue (May 13)! I always look forward to it with great anticipation. I inevitably find some cool restaurant, club, something new to check out ... but ay dios mio! Who is that hottie with the horns on the cover? As a matter of fact she looks very much like an old friend, an unrequited brief but torrid affair. I called her to tell her to pick up the paper because I told her, I didn't know you were modeling for New Times! Having just returned from NYC, she scoured South Beach looking for a copy. Alas, it wasn't her. But there seems to be a chance for reigniting this torrid affair. Thanks New Times and hats off to this year's Best of!
Charles E. Byrd
Averted Left Hook
Hyperbole and sarcasm, though, that we couldn't avoid: I'm writing in response to our listing as "Best Lounge Act" in the Best of Miami 2004 issue. Our appearance in these pages has come as quite a surprise. When we were first congratulated, I almost assaulted the person for their impertinence! I thought it was a joke on us! (I know, it is, hehe.) Can you tell I was once the victim of a prom king voting hoax?
Ca$$iu$ and myself consider it a distinct honor to be included in the ranks of Blowfly, Trina, and 2 Live Crew as the best that our crazy little corner of the world has to offer. I have aspired to nothing less in my career unless it's to bag barflies at closing.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the author of the piece on ShuttleLOUNGE. This brief but intense review of our little ensemble is really the first to capture our essence, pungent as it may be. We intend to wear the banner title faithfully until another Lounge Act can pry it out of our cold dead hands. (Have you seen Ca$$iu$ after one of his benders?)
We have never felt this welcome in a community before, even Melbourne. Well, aside from the night lockup being a little more friendly there.... And lest our parents (yes, we do have mothers) don't believe us, how do we go about obtaining a plaque or trophy of this righteous accomplishment?
Thanks again for the gracious accolades. We are indeed proud to be included in the issue and the New Times shall be tops on our coffee tables for years to come. Hell, maybe we'll even buy some of the advertised products!
The Amazing Dik Shuttle and Ca$$iu$ Casio KRS "lejuan love" Sebastian Bacherach de la Fenderr Rrhodes of the fabulous ShuttleLOUNGE
of a Facetious Item
And we certainly wouldn't want to lead clubbers astray: The Best of Miami note on free parking near Flamingo Park on South Beach ("Best Parking on South Beach") could lead clubbers astray. There is no free parking in or near Flamingo Park from 11:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m., seven days a week. You need a residential parking sticker or hangtag to park in or anywhere near Flamingo Park without fear of being towed away.
Best Love-Hate Relationship with a Free Weekly
You can read it while you eat; it just might not be right, that's all: Thanks to New Times for its kindness and generosity in choosing us as co-winner of healthy fast food ("Best Healthy Fast Food"). We regret that the writers, while busy surfing the Web, were not able to contact us. They stand corrected on two issues: Before Chicken Kitchen became the Chicken Kitchen you all know, it was Starr's Chicken Grill, a restaurant we sold to them in the early 1990s. Secondly, we were awarded Best of Miami by the faithful readers in the Readers' Poll 2003. News of the great honor was delivered to us by one of the New Times staff together with a beautiful certificate that remains proudly displayed at our headquarters. In fact New Times carried a full-page "Thank You" ad for us in the issue following the Best of Miami 2003.
We hope that New Times can correct the mistake to its readers, who again voted us Best Healthy Fast Food. Never mind the mistake. Our 23 South Florida stores are always open to all health-food-seeking-Miamians, who can enjoy their "chops" while reading the Miami New Times, available at all stores.
President, Natural Chicken Grill
Best Underperforming, Publicly Funded
The sun never sets on the British sine waves: Obviously this article ("Best Reggae Radio Program") was written prior to the stunt that station management pulled to get one over on Ital. Instead of sweet reggae music we continue to hear the BBC World News. All that has changed is Ital can once again sit in for Clint O'Neil when Clint takes time off, and in return Ital must monitor the equipment for the twelve overnight hours while the BBC News continues to be aired. This is an insult not only to Ital but to all loyal listeners of the show both locally and worldwide.