Bass Relief

Check your mufflers, biker boys

Men of Little Valor
The Miami-Dade County Commission on Ethics and Public Trust cannot arrest politicians, bureaucrats, or lobbyists who violate said public trust. Public humiliation, however, is within the EC's purview.

On May 17, the commission slapped down Miami Beach Commissioner Simon Cruz, lobbyist David Lederman, and former North Bay Village Mayor Alan Dorne for unethical behavior.

According to meeting minutes, Cruz agreed to pay $750 for accepting campaign contributions last year from two companies with city contracts, in violation of a city ordinance prohibiting political candidates from accepting contributions from vendors. Lederman was fined $2500 for repeatedly violating the county's ordinance requiring lobbyists to file monthly expenditure reports.

Some folks call it a sling blade; The Bitch calls it a hell 
of a lot of noise
Jonathan Postal
Some folks call it a sling blade; The Bitch calls it a hell of a lot of noise

Dorne agreed to pay $546.75 in fines and investigative fees after pleading no contest to violating the county's ordinance governing voluntary fair campaign practices. Dorne resigned in April after the Miami-Dade State Attorney charged him with a second-degree misdemeanor for allegedly violating Florida's Government-in-the-Sunshine Law.

James Earl Jones Is Not Happy
Doesn't Miami-Dade County Commissioner Dennis Moss know that The Lord of the Rings is the new mythologically freighted movie trilogy to reference when dropping heaviness, and that Star Wars went out with the lights in Georgia? Apparently not. How else to explain Moss's turn as Lord of the Sith as well as chairman of the county's Transportation Committee?

During the committee's meeting on May 20, Moss showed John Cosgrove, embattled chairman of the Citizens' Independent Transportation Trust, where the force was.

Moss interrupted Cosgrove, the former state legislator currently besieged by conflict-of-interest allegations, as he was about to answer a question during a discussion of the trust's request to hire an independent financial advisor to evaluate the People's Transportation Plan. The PTP is a massive, billion-dollar public works project to expand Metrorail and bus service over the next twenty years. The trust monitors the proceeds from a half-penny local sales tax being used to fund the PTP.

"Mr. Cosgrove, if we want to hear from you, we will address you. Sit back down," Darth Moss ordered. Cosgrove humbly obeyed.

Also Worth Noting, as They Say....
Professional art directing-type guy Dean Sebring was in full effect for the launch of Euro-attractive Miami lifestyle magazine VIP at a party Saturday at State, which would not have been the same without egregiously snotty bartenders reminding those snapping up free cocktails: "Don't forget the gratuity. "

On the same night, at the other end of the manners spectrum, was Nerve Lounge promoter Sami Stormo. The charming, gracious New Orleans native, whose chapeau The Bitch adores, breezed through Aquabooty's City Session DJ showcase at the Delano, a mere prelude to her own superior event later on at Nerve: Frankie Knuckles, the virtual inventor of house music, spun a superb set of the dance club staple with more better bass and check-your-obscurity-quotient samples.

"Every time we have a crazy crowd, we put on 'Achy Breaky Heart.' People get upset for about a minute, then they settle down."

- Boris Morales, Club VIP manager on crowd control over Memorial Day weekend

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