Rope Tricks

The key is convincing the people with the money or the drink tickets that having you around is worth the expense. A lot of people do that in an inelegant fashion and as much as people say they hate it, it works. Duncan Ross, of Fashion TV and founder of Miami Beach-based Internet radio station the Womb, recalls getting his share of free drinks as a club DJ. But many people abuse the notion of their own importance. "These are people who have no shame," he gripes. "They are parasites who put club owners on the spot until they almost feel embarrassed not to give them a free drink."

"For me it's quite shocking how people are so bold," comments Rumi owner Alan Roth. "They ask for everything." Tommy Pooch is philosophical. He knows there's a certain amount of toadying to put up with from the entourage to create the illusions that lure in the big fish. "I'm here thirteen years," he says. "I'm like one big callus." Ultimately no one wants to party alone. "It's a little bit incestuous," acknowledges promoter Max Blandford. "The fabulous people are the cost of doing business."

Jonathan Postal

Honey, keeper of the door at new club State, is all that stands between you and a good time

Jonathan Postal

Top to bottom: Dapper doormen, artfully draped clotheshorses, and buxom babes: All the trappings of clubland

Related Content

• Reader Mail: South Beach Tow Companies Are the Biggest Scam on Earth
  April 18, 2013
• December 2012 Restaurant Openings and Closings
  January 1, 2013
• Blow It Up
  December 27, 2012
• February 2013 Restaurant Openings and Closings
  March 1, 2013
• Eff You, Miami Beach Bicycle Thief
  April 4, 2013

More About

• South Beach (Miami Beach)
• Opium Garden
• Rudolf Piper
• Tommy Pooch
• Miami Beach

So now you know. Get out there and be fabulous. And if that doesn't work, get a job at a local rag and write about nightlife.

A brief sampling of South Beach nightlife: To schmooze:

Astor Hotel 956 Washington Ave.

B.E.D. 929 Washington Ave.

crobar 1445 Washington Ave.

Mynt 1921 Collins Ave.

Opium Garden/Prive 136 Collins Ave.

Rumi 330 Lincoln Rd.

SkyBar @ the Shore Club 1901 Collins Ave.

Tantra 1445 Pennsylvania Ave.

To chill:

Automatic Slim’s 1216 Washington Ave.

Jazid 1342 Washington Ave.

Liquor Lounge 1560 Collins Ave.

Marlin Bar 1200 Collins Ave.

Purdy Lounge 1811 Purdy Ave.

To slum:

Ted’s Hideaway 124 2nd St.

Mac’s Club Deuce 222 14th St.