Muscle Worship

 FRI 11/14

So you want to be a bodybuilder, eh? Okay. First be born with the right body type; genetics are more than half the equation. Then spend hours a day in the gym, working out harder than most people work on the first day of a new job. We're talking a voluntary excruciating push into searing pain. Lift every day, twice a day, 6 days a week. Between workouts lie on the couch recovering, completely exhausted. Oh, and the food. You'll have to work even harder in the kitchen force-feeding yourself a meticulously calibrated diet of protein, fats, and carbohydrates. Inject substantial doses of pharmacological assistance, some drugs proved to work, some experimental, all technically illegal in the United States. The payoff: an astoundingly defined and engorged physique. A medal around your neck. Your picture in fitness magazines. Possibly governorship of a large state. More than 300 bodybuilders will be competing in the NPC National Bodybuilding and Fitness Championships at the Jackie Gleason Theatre (1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). The 2-day event will crown the top national amateur in America. Preliminaries start Friday at 5:30 p.m; finals begin at 7:00 p.m. Saturday. Tickets range from $20 to $125. Call 888-338-1445. -- By Robert Andrew Powell

Fan Dance

'Fins get new groove

SUN 11/16

Dolphin fans know their song as if it's tattooed in their DNA. "Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins #1 ..." But as they take on the Baltimore Ravens, a different fight song will be blaring that promises to bring some flavor to local tailgaters. Imported from the Bahamas comes the Dolphin Hustle, a gyrating anthem set to the blazing beat of Caribbean soca music. The song premieres during the halftime show, when more than 100 delegates from the Bahamas will put on a Junkanoo extravaganza complete with steel drums, cowbells, whistles, and of course, wild costumes. The game starts at 1:00 p.m. at Pro Player Stadium, 2269 NW 199th St. Tickets range from $22 to $175. Call 305-623-6100. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez